“I Lost My Underwear” and Other Gems

I decided that I will go back to keeping a journal with me to write down my random thoughts.  I have done this in the past and it helped me come up with all sorts of writing ideas.  Mostly it is crap, but there are a few gems in there.  I thought that I might share some of my favorites with you.

  • 3:50 pm — I like Chock Full of Nuts.  My roommate likes Folgers.  Now we must Kung Fu fight.
  • 3:55 pm — Bacon has been co-opted by hipsters.  How can you like pig meat and Whole Foods at the same time?
  • 9AM — I am eating slices of corned beef for breakfast and nothing else.  I am such a healthy dude.
  • 2:30 — I walked into the gas station and lost my underwear.  I wore an old pair with the elastic stretched out.  With each step, i felt the fabric inching downward.  By the time I got back home, it was hanging from the crotch of my shorts for dear life.  Have you ever had a conversation while losing your pants . . . I mean, without alcohol?
  • 1PM — I really need to get some work done.  Stupid internet.
  • 9:30 AM — I had a dream last night where Taco Bell banned me from sitting in one of their seats.  There are some dreams that only fat people have.
  • 6PM — That first bite of pizza melted my face like the Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
  • and from today, 6PM — Feeling lazy.  have to pee.  Considering pissing myself.

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