Study Links Memaid Sightings To Higher Inebriation Levels

I might have to go mermaid sighting when I get to Maine

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

mermaidsScientists from the University of Maine at Rockland’s prestigious Mythical Maritime Creatures Department have released a study that proves that people report more Mermaid sightings when they are inebriated.

The study, which was conducted from Memorial Day Weekend through the Independence Day Weekend is believed to be the first of its kind, and should serve as the benchmark in Mermaid Studies for years to come.

Dr. Allen Bauer, who heads up UMR’s Mythical Maritime Creatures Department, told this Modern Philosopher that the study was not only definitive, but also “a wicked good time”.

“We went out in the S.S. Ariel, which is the school’s research vessel, and cruised around areas off the coast of Maine that are known for Mermaid sightings,” Dr. Bauer explained.  “We especially concentrated on Mermaid’s Cove and the Rockland Breakwater Light, which are both well known for being hot spots of Mermaid activity.

The crew was…

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