Yesterday one of my bosses called me her most efficient worker (in regards to getting reports in on time). At first I beamed. I love praise, and my job is about helping others, so it feels good to know that I’m making a difference in lives.
But today I just feel like the smoothest cog. Yes, it’s a great cause I believe in, but it’s still a business and I’m on the low end.
On the bright side, I got to share Chicken Attack with someone. And also you 😉
So I’m going to try something new. I haven’t been blogging. I don’t understand why. I have theories, lack of computer use seems to be the top one. But I need to write. I miss it like a dog in my lap or a lover’s snarky comeback.
I’m going to write everyday on my phone. I’ll keep it going all day and then post at night. We’ll see where this shitstorm of random thought takes us.
Who knows, maybe it’ll get me back on the computer.
Work is a big issue. I don’t know how to set boundaries because I care about my individuals (I job coach for people that need special support). I answer their texts constantly and help them with stuff that is outside of my range. And I don’t get paid for the extra stuff. But how can I say no? They don’t understand boundaries, but they understand rejection.
I’m exhausted. Maybe it’s work. Maybe it’s age. Maybe I’m born with it (it’s not Maybelline)
So that’s it for today. Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you.
Sometimes there’s so much that you need to say that you can’t even say it. Like, it’s so overwhelmingly that to expel it will take your heart, your lungs, and organs that you can’t even pronounce. The purge will destroy you. Keeping it inside will destroy you. No matter what, it will destroy you.
I am waiting to destroy myself or be destroyed. It’s in me, waiting. I cannot purge it. It’s attached to too many VERY IMPORTANT THINGS and I’m afraid of the blood and guts that will pour out.
So I will ignore it. It will go away. Or not. Neither way is better. I just wish that it wasn’t necessary.
Sooo, now that the chaos of Cold Iron’s book release is over, my body decided “hey, wouldn’t this be a super awesome happy jolly fun time to get sick?” Of course, it didn’t tell me this until I was mid-date with Katie, so she’s probably sick too.
At least my summer position in the job coaching program is over. I have 2 weeks of summer before school starts once again.
I hope that the cold doesn’t last that long. Despite being the size of a small bear, I am in poor health and many of my colds turn into bronchitis or pneumonia. Just something to be concerned with.
Oh, i should make a graphics ad for Cold Iron. This book is really freakin good, and I usually hate the things that I write 😛
Plus, I might eat your eyes…
There’s a counter-argument right now that instead of walking out to protest gun violence, the victims should have been “nicer to the shooters.”
Repeat: They should have been nice to keep them from murdering them. This is some Grade A enabling bullshit.
The victim is not the perpetrator. In a domestic violence case, do you blame the victim? Do you say he/she deserved it?
I’m all for being kind, but being kind to keep someone from murdering you is a sad commentary on our times. Worse, that people actually believe this instead of blaming the shooter is a vicious swerve.