Elimination Chamber: Review and Spoilers

I’m still on a high from last night’s Elimination Chamber. Man, what a show. This was easily the best PPV of the year so far, and it wasn’t even a PPV.

If HHH’s plan is too make the WWE Network necessary for fans, he did it with one incredible event. Because it was only available on the Network, all of the people that usually get PPVs through cable missed out. When they hear from their friends about what they missed…let’s just say that the $9.99 a month is well worth it.

The match of the night was Cena/Owens, most of the matches were high level. Let’s start from the beginning:

Pre-show: Stardust vs Zach Ryder: It bothers me that Stardust (Cody Rhodes) is down to preshow matches, but I enjoyed this one nonetheless. Ryder looks great. He’s been training hard, looks bigger, and is moving well in the ring. Cody is always good, but I think his run as Stardust needs to end. He’s main event potential, but gimmick characters rarely get the big push.

Tag Team Elim Chamber: This one saw all sorts of craziness. We had all of The New Day–who have really grown on me–Calisto hanging from the ceiling, Torito hanging from the ceiling, Titus O’Neil’s head going through the chains, and top notch wrestling all around. Even the Ascension looked good. FEEL THE POWER OF THE NEW DAY!!!

Nikki Bella vs Paige vs Naomi: I expected the title to change hands here, and was disappointed that it didn’t. Naomi has all the heat right now, and she deserves a title run. Some of the moves were sloppy, but there were some great ones as well. Paige proved again that she’s the most talented diva on the roster. If only AJ was still around, the divas division could be fantastic. I can hardly wait until some of the NXT divas come up.

John Cena vs Kevin Owens: There’s nothing I can say that will do this match justice. HHH is all in on Owens, and it showed, because Cena didn’t try to bury him. Owens got a chance to bust out all of his great moves (Go Home Driver, Moonsault, Swanton, Super Scoop Slam Driver, etc) He even teased a Package Powerbomb. Cena got to open up his move set too, and he sold like a real team player. The best part: Owens won clean. Yep, Cena jobbed clean to Kevin Owens. So far, this was the match of the year, and Owens shoot after the match made me stand up and cheer.

Neville vs Bo Dallas: This match was a little too short, and I was expecting more. Still, it was a solid bout between two NXT alum that I expect big things from in the future. Bo is getting better in the ring. His wrestling still doesn’t match up to his mic work, but it’s getting there. I BO-LIEVE in him.

IC Title Elim Chamber: This was not a good match, boring as hell. I was happy to see Mark Henry back (and he looks about 30 pounds lighter), but there were no good spots and Ryback winning was a let down. They also tried this dumb extended spot where Sheamus couldn’t get out of the pod, but he was faking all along. I spent most of this match making dick jokes with my friends and eating ice cream cake.

Rollins vs Ambrose: This was not only a great match, but it had a double swerve for an ending. Rollins and Ambrose have amazing chemistry together. I could watch them wrestle forever and be happy. Still, it was the ending that made this match. The ref gets knocked out (I forget by who, but I think it was Kane). Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds, another ref comes out, and Ambrose wins the belt! Woooo! No one thought that he’d take the belt, and he did. Another unpredictable ending for the EC!

But wait. The first ref wakes up and DQs Rollins for outside interference. Ambrose wins, but by DQ so the championship doesn’t change hands. Bullshit! What a terrible ending! Hashtag CancelWWE, etc.

But wait. Ambrose takes a beatdown, but Roman Reigns comes out and together they clean house. Ambrose takes the belt, and together they leave the arena with it. Rollins is still champ, but Ambrose has the belt. Let’s see how this plays out tonight.

To conclude, it was a great idea for the WWE to put The Elimination Chamber PPV exclusively on the Network. The Network was already worth it, but now it’s necessary. I want more.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.7/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, 2014, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

cosmic-cat tripping balls redux

WrestleMania Picks and Predictions

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.7/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, 2014, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Tonight’s the night, bright lights, blah blah blah, some other line, can’t remember the theme song…

WrestleMania is here, and I’m excited. I’m always excited, even though the build up has been pretty meh. Except for the awesome promos by Paul Heyman and Bray Wyatt, I haven’t been moved. Still, it’s the biggest night of the year for wrestling marks, and I mark like nobody’s business.

Before I give my picks, let me give my (wishful) predictions:

Rollins is going to cash in. Whether he takes the title or not, I don’t know.

Daniel Bryan is going to turn heel (thus preventing him from becoming another Cena). He will feud with either Ambrose or Ziggler, and I will explode with joy.

Wyatt and Taker will ratchet up the theatrics to create the creepiest match of the night. Expect Taker “rise from your graves” (Yay Altered Beast references) and Wyatt “crazy crabs from your grave.”

Rollins vs Orton will be the Match of the Night.

The tag team 4-way will be the Suck of the Night.

The IC and US titles will rise in prestige to the point where people will forget that the WWE belt only gets defended every three months.

The WWE Universe will complain and threaten to cancel the WWE Network.

Now for the picks…

Brock v Reigns: Brock
Tag Team fatal 4 way: Kidd and Cesaro – WWE
Orton v Rollins: Rollins IC Ladder Match: Ziggler
Taker v Wyatt: Taker
Cena v Rusev: Cena (lol cena wins)
Sting v HHH: Sting
Battle Royal: Hideo Itami
AJ/Paige v Bellas: AJ/Paige

Let’s see how it goes.

doge in space card redux

My Geekiness Runneth Over

Woot! D&D AND WWE’s TLC (and S) today and tonight!

Also, if you didn’t see NXT’s [R]Evolution last week, you missed the best ppv of the year. I don’t want to give anything away, but it started with Kevin Owens (Steen), climaxed with Neville and Sami Zayn, and ended with the best heel turn since Shawn Michaels kicked Marty Jannetty through a plate glass window.

I’ll leave you with this ear worm. OLE!

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

CM Punk to Write for Marvel!

CM Punk is going to write Thor Annual #1 for Marvel, and I’m about to leap out of my chair with joy. My geek worlds are colliding in this explosion of Awesomeness. Now if only he finds a way to work D&D into the storyline (Thor: Volstagg, thou must save versus Will. Thy DC is 16).

Check out his interview at Marvel.com for more information.

This is the bees knees, the tops, jolly good, and other olde timey phrases. After Punk quit the WWE, I wondered what he was going to do next. Would he come back to the WWE or maybe Ring of Honor? Would he marry his girlfriend, wrestler AJ Lee? (he did). Would he go on tour with Rancid (Valerie would’ve smiled down from heaven for that). I knew that he was a comicbook fan (He once worked at a comic shop, and “it’s clobbin’ time” has been one of his catch phrases for a long time). He’s also a very intelligent, creative person, which you can see in his promos and interviews. Despite that, it never occurred to me that he might write a comic, let alone a Marvel icon.

Apparently it’s been something he’s wanted to do for years. He’s been studying scripts and the Marvel Method. Putting on tights and performing stuntman fights in front of 30k people a night has got to be great preparation for the world of comics.

Tell it again…

Thor is going through a lot of changes right now. Last month he lost his arm in a fight with Malekith, and an unnamed (so far) woman now wields Mjolnir. It’ll be interesting to see where CM Punk goes with it. “Best in the world?” We’ll find out soon.

Damn, he still looks badass.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Jim Ross to make MMA Announcing Debut

MAH GAWD! MAH GAWD KING! HE’S STOMPIN’ A MUDHOLE IN ‘EM AND WALKIN’ IT DRY!!!

This is fantastic news and might get me watching MMA again. Jim Ross–Good ole JR–the greatest commentator the WWE ever had, is going to be announcing at the Battlegrounds PPV on October 3rd. Even better, his co-commentator is Chael Sonnen.

Can you imagine what these two are gonna spout to each other. It’ll be gold, Jerry. Gold! I hope we get some of this:

I miss JR. Could you imagine him covering WrestleMania XXX, where Brrrrrrrrrock Lesnar beat The Undertaker? How about Daniel Bryan getting screwed repeatedly by HHH and Steph? If only. JBL is a great commentator (in his own way), but he’s no JR.

JR left the WWE last year, after the infamous WWE2K14 incident. You’ve heard about this, right? Ross and Ric Flair (Woo!) were at the event. Flair was drunk as a drunken skunk, and JR let Flair go on the mic, even after Flair’s promo shit the proverbial bed. It was a catastrafuck, and JR got the axe.

Jack Daniels is finger lickin’ good

Incidentally, Flair still does WWE events, and he’s still drunk.

From MMA News:

Ross and Sonnen will handle the play-by-play duties for the event, which features Ryan Couture (8-3), son of UFC legend Randy Couture, challenging Jonny “King of Late Night” Carson (11-6) in the main event.

Also scheduled for the event is an exciting eight-man tournament in the Welterweight division, one that is filled with former UFC and Strikeforce veterans. The tourney consists of Dennis Hallman (53-15-2), Brock Larson (37-8), Roan Carneiro (17-9), Luigi Fioravanti (24-11), Cody McKenzie (15-4), David Mitchell (14-4), Trey Houston (10-2) and Chris Honeycutt (4-0).

I’m not in it for the fights. I’m in it to hear Jim Ross on the mic again. There should be a drinking game involved for all of his catchphrases. Hmmm…I’ll get to work on that

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!</p>