People rarely anticipate the consequences of their actions, but they never anticipate the consequences of their inaction.

Rockland County just reelected Ed Day, a man that quoted Josef Goebbels in his commercials. We are 45 minutes from New York City.


War on Thanksgiving?

November 1st, my next door neighbor put up her Christmas decorations.

I love Christmas. It’s a great holiday, and even though I’m of a different religion, I embrace it, falling into the metaphorical melting pot that is the foundation of American culture. I say Merry Christmas. I watch Christmas movies like Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas (best Christmas movie evar!!!!) I write about Santa Claus and his New York roots. I celebrate with my Christian friends. I don’t get upset when people wish me “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Hannukah.” I understand that my people are a small population (even in New York), and I don’t expect people to include me in their reindeer games. It’s about the sentiment, not the accuracy.

November 1st, my next door neighbor put up her Christmas decorations.

What about Thanksgiving? Where are the “Happy Thanksgiving” signs and the cornucopias? Where are the turkeys drawn by spreading out your hand? Where’s the stuffing? Where’s the cranberry sauce. How did we lose an entire holiday?

And this isn’t just a minor holiday. Thanksgiving is one of the big ones. It’s turkey and family and football and listening to Alice’s Restaurant on the radio (the whole thing…Did I mention that I come from a family of hippies?). It’s also a holiday where I don’t have to sublimate my religion to celebrate it. It’s a national holiday, not a religious one.

I love Christmas decorations, but there is a time and place for everything. Thanksgiving comes first.

btw: said neighbor always wishes me “Merry Christmas.” She knows that I’m Jewish. I just smile and nod. I’m sure she means well.

doge in space card redux

I Am the Rape Culture

If women are brave enough to post #metoo, I must have the courage to call myself out.

I am the problem
I am the rape culture.
I am the patriarchy.
I have breathed the invisible, foul air since birth until I no longer tasted the pollution.
I have enabled.
I have looked away.
I have put the onus on women to protect themselves with “self defense classes” and “pepper spray” instead of focusing on the rapists.
I have gaslighted.
I have crossed lines and rationalized it as romance.
I have whined about the “friend zone,” as if being nice to a woman entitled me to their affection.
I have physically beaten other men over women, as if they were a prize for the victor.
I have thought things that no man should, but every man does.
Worst of all, I have ignored female friends’ requests not to hang out with an assaulter, for fear that he would try again.
I have done all of these things, and though I was ignorant of the magnitude of what I was doing in many cases, that does not excuse me.

Change begins with awareness. Women should not have to talk about their assault to get people to understand how pervasive the rape culture is. If I am to help change, I must start with the things that I have done. I cannot erase them. I call on other men to have the courage to do the same.

doge in space card redux

(In Just Seven Years) Rocky Horror Made Me a Man

Note: I wrote this in 2015, but I love Rocky so much that I felt it needed an update.


Some of you will get the title reference. You are my people. Thank you for existing.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show turns 42 this year. I’m not sure if this is old or young, because it’s always been an old movie for me. Even though I’ve seen it hundreds (literally) of times, it’s always seemed like something from the past brought into the present for lonely souls like me. It was a holy relic, and we were the cult that formed around it.

For better or worse, Rocky Horror made me who I am.

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Legacy Board Games

I really enjoy the Legacy games like Risk: Legacy and Pandemic: Legacy. I love that each game has repercussions that effect every game afterwards. For example, in Risk: Legacy, the winner gets to place a city or rename a continent and gets bonuses based on that, other countries get bonuses and penalties based on battles that took place there, worldwide events are triggered through battles, etc. It shows the devastation of war, and how future wars are shaped by it. We are all shaped by our past, whether it’s on a small or grand scale.

Also, it’s a much faster game, as you don’t have to conquer everyone, just earn 4 victory points.

So I was thinking about other games that could be made into Legacy games.

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You Don’t “Earn Respect”

I have noticed a lot of memes going around about how people have to “earn respect” by proving themselves worthy of it. Things like this meme:

earn respect Yoda

This is a lumbering dumptruck load of self-satisfied bullshit. It’s like saying “I will treat you like a sub-human until you pass my moral obstacle course.” What kind of arrogant bastard thinks that way? How about instead you say “I will treat you with respect until you do something hurtful or otherwise prove that you’re not worthy of it.”

You don’t “earn respect.” You lose it. A person should treat everyone that they meet with respect and common decency. If the person proves that they don’t deserve it, then they lose it. To think otherwise assumes that people are bad until they prove themselves good. They assume guilty until proven innocent.

Truthfully, I give people several chances. We’re all human, and we all have bad days. Life isn’t easy, and everyone has their own struggle. I won’t let one bad day ruin them for me forever. Yes, I sometimes get burned. More often I find dear friends that I would’ve shut out if I forced them to earn respect.

The irony is that people that demand that you earn respect, often demand respect without earning it.

If a person demands that I jump through their hoops before they judge me worthy, but thinks that they are above such judgement, they lose the respect that I gave them to begin with.

earn respect but demands it

If you find yourself doing this, ask yourself why? Have you been burned by people you respected in the past? Boo hoo, so has everyone. So have I. It doesn’t mean that my world view comes tumbling down. Don’t let your past affect your future.

Be brave, and risk that loss. Have a backbone, not a wishbone.

Watchmage black