Today’s Mood

 

Plus, I might eat your eyes…

 

doge in space card redux

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The Fly on the Wall: Another Weirdass Fable

The following was inspired by a huge fly that got into Katie’s apartment last night and pissed me off with its flyness and flyosity.

Once upon a time, there was a fly. He was not a sly fly, nor a cry fly. He was not my fly or your fly or anybody’s fly. He was Guy the Fly, just a simple fly in an unsimple world, a world where he could find no picnics to sample and faced all sorts of predators that wanted to predatize him with their predatory ways.

One day Guy was fleeing…no…flying…away from one of these predators when he saw with his hundred eyes a rectangular-shaped cave. It was cool in the cave, and Guy could see with his hundred eyes that there was raw chicken breast on a baking sheet in the kitchen. “What luck!” He buzzed. “I can eat a tiny bit of that chicken and there is nothing that will attack me. This is paradise!”

The cave closed shortly after Guy the Fly flew into it, but Guy was not perturbed. He had flown a long way before he saw the cave, and was not afraid of such odd occurrences. But when a giant, fleshy hand swatted at him, Guy went from unperturbed to very, very perturbed.

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Doggos (and Cattos) Explained

Happy Saturday (even though I’m writing this on Friday)!

My friends know that I’m obsessed with DoggoSpeak, so they send me doggo memes all the time. Closer to the truth is that I’m obsessed with language and how it evolves (even from Doge to Doggo in just a year or two!), but that’s a post for another time. Cat talk like the now mostly forgotten can haz cheezburger also gets me thinking. I mean, why do cats and dogs have such horrible grammar and spelling skills? It does me a bamboozle.

A friend sent me a Youtube link today, and I went down down down down down the rabbit (doggo) hole. Feast your eyes on THESE!

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!

Someone did this with cats too!!! This whole post is like the doggo/catto dictionary. Take that, Mister Webster!

 

This shitpost has been brought to you by:Β Weird Obsessions, Pet Love, and Too Much Cawfee!

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I Am My Turtle’s Slave

I’ve posted about Shelvin, my pet Eastern Painted Turtle and friend for 34 years (yes, I’ve had him since I was 6), but I don’t think that I’ve ever gotten into our disturbing dynamic. I thought that I was training him, but no, he was training me.

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Shelvin with a suncatcher covering him in a rainbow. The thing that looks like French Toast is his floating island.

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Wisdom From Cookie Monster

Every now and then I like to do a funny post with memes. Why? Because I think they’re neat-o πŸ˜‰ I also (as you probably know by now) have an obsession with the Muppets.

I also think that memes are an effective way of getting a point across. People respond to them because they use both words and pictures, which connect to the mind in different ways. It’s similar to what I learned as a teacher, a concept called “differentiated instruction.” But I’m not going to talk about that today. Bring on Cookie Monster!

Note: I suspect that some of these came from Mitch Hedberg

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The Epic Doggo Bamboozle Post!

I love doggos.
There, I said it. Doggos dressed up as other things to bamboozle hoomans make me so happy that I could bork!

Btw, bork is the new bark. Get with it, people πŸ™‚

So, in honor of doggos everywhere, here are some of my favorites. They are doing me a happy. Note: not all of these are bamboozles. Some are just awesome. πŸ™‚

Also, I’m posting from my phone. Awesome.

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Hot dogs.

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And the finale. ..

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Silly baboozled hoomans

Oh, if you think you’d like flying dogs with your historical fantasy mysteries, check out my novel, ” The Watchmage of Old New York. It’s good, and I’m not bamboozling you.

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