The Epic Dad Joke Meme Post!

Ok, you all know that despite not being a dad, I am a purveyor and connoisseur of dad jokes. I’ve posted jokes with the laughing dog meme before, even the Rick Grimes meme. Lately I’ve been obsessed with the “family groaning at a restaurant while dad laughs” meme. I’ve decided to bless you all with some of my favorites.

You’re welcome 😀

Or, you can hate me forever. Either way, credit goes to @IFindItFunny2. This is some exquisite punishment.

dad joke moderation

dad joke steak pun

 

 

dad joke kidnapping

dad joke hippo zippo

dad joke goldfish tank

dad joke flamingo

 

dad joke dead batteries

dad joke cow udder destruction

dad joke coffin

dad joke chocolate bar snickers

dad joke chicken sedan

doge in space card redux

Coffee Memes to Start Your Day Right

 

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Buy The Watchmage of Old New York at Amazon or a ton of other sites (like barnes and noble, iBooks, etc)

Sometimes, coffee (or as I say, cawfee) isn’t enough. You need your coffee with a shot of Funny.

Consider me your barista of the blog. Yes, I know it’s click bait, but it’s funny. In the morning, we need to laugh…or go back to bed.
coffee surprised

I hate when I get up before my alarm. I feel like I’ve cheated myself, so I lie in bed until the buzzer rings. Stupid internal clock.
coffee iv

How convenient would this be? Just jam it into your arm and work. You’ll also save on sugar and creamer.

coffee 25 to life

We’ve all been there…not prison…just wanting to murder someone that talks to you too early.

Inigo coffee die

No words can describe the level of awesomeness. I want this mug.

coffee simon garfunkel

…I’ve come to sip with you again…

coffee gollum

I think that if Gollum had enough coffee, he could’ve resisted the pull of the One Ring. It’d have to be strong coffee, but still…

coffee business cat

Business cat needs to do business things meow.

coffee doge

Oh, you thought Doge wouldn’t appear on one of my meme posts. Wow. Much mislead. So unknow.

doge in space card redux

Promises Promises…Inside Out

Ok, I swear that I’m going to start adding more source material on NYC History today. I already have something on 19th century slang written (my own notes for Watchmage). I just have to rearrange it for consumption. Right now it’s in a form that only I can understand.

ba8b3-dog-meme-no-idea

I should organize my files better. One day I’m going to be dead, and people are going to need to find my important files…

Inner Critic: Wow, Craig, that’s freaking morbid.
Neuroses: Yeah, people are gonna think you’re all emo and shit. A 38 year old emo. Good job.
Muse: “Whateva, whateva, I do what I want.”
Brain: Will someone make another pot of coffee…PLEASE?

Anyway, I have to do some more editing, but hopefully I’ll get it up soon…

Id: Hehehehe, you said “get it up.”
Sex Drive: You rang?
Neuroses: You’re ruining your blog with dick jokes!
Id: “Moar dick jokes, moar gooder.”
Neuroses: Now you’re just making obscure references.
Id: “I resemble that remark…”
Neuroses: SEE!!!
Brain: If you get me some damn coffee, I’ll be more original!!!
Stomach: *growls*
Brain: “Quiet, you!”
Neuroses: ENOUGH WITH THE DAMN REFERENCES!!
silence….
Id: “Fatality…Neuroses, wins.”
Brain: *sigh*

Now you’ve seen what goes on in my head. Take that, Disney!

Neuroses: You haven’t even seen the movie, and you’re doing a parody.
Brain: It’s ok, I used to watch Herman’s Head.

To be fair, I heard that Inside Out is very good.

This post really went off the rails.

Brain: This wouldn’t happen if YOU GOT ME SOME GODDAMMED COFFEE!!!

Fin

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.7/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, 2014, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

When Doge Memes Collide: Doge Hybrids

I have a serious addiction to memes. Yes, I love cat memes, space kitteh especially. But nothing…NOTHING…compares to my love of Doge. Ah, Doge, wow, much love, such funny, do want, very laugh, so meme. I have a shirt with Doge drawn like the Stark Dire Wolf. It says “wow, such winter, is coming, much cold.”

And of course, there’s this…

Craig with book and dog head

It doesn’t get geekier, or creepier than that.

Now anyone can make an ordinary Doge meme, but I’m going for something different (because I’m different). Here are some Doge memes combined with other memes. It’s a Titanic Team Up of Shiba Inu proportions (as opposed to the Titanic Team Up I blogged about the other day).

Nic Cage is in your Doge

Such world. Much wonderful.

Good morning Dogeshine. Much Earth so hello.

Doge Fawkes

I really love this one. No joke attached, it stands alone.

Wtf Crowe. Much awful. Ugh voice.

Two of my favorite memes came together for this awesomeness.

Much gin. Such juice.

Doge will survive the nuclear holocaust.

No mistakes. Wow, happy accidents.

I’m kinda over Grumpy Cat. No meme should should have a Christmas movie.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (you’ll probably have to order it). Of course, you can always buy an autographed one from me, just send me a message. Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so people seem to like it. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Ridiculously Clever Jokes

SoS Practice Ad 2

Hmmm… It was recommended to me that I should narrow my focus if I want to promote better. Maybe I should narrow my focus on awful jokes.

These are awful, but really clever. No shame if you don’t understand all of them.

Here’s a sample:

“Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

Yeah, it’s that kind of stuff.

the-watchmage-is-coming1

guinea pig card