The Pickle Slicer Joke

Jokes will keep us sane. Here’s one of my favorites:

Mr. Jones worked at the pickle factory for twenty years. He was on the assembly line, just a few feet from the pickle slicer.

One day he came home with his hands in his pockets, tears running down his face.

Mrs. Jones ran to him. “What happened?”

“I was fired today.”

“What?”

“For twenty years I worked on the assembly line, and each day I’ve had this terrible urge to put my finger in the pickle slicer. Today, I could resist no more, and I put my finger in the pickle slicer.”

“Oh no!” cried his wife. “That’s terrible…what happened to the pickle slicer?”

“They fired her too.”

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The Epic Dad Joke Meme Post!

Ok, you all know that despite not being a dad, I am a purveyor and connoisseur of dad jokes. I’ve posted jokes with the laughing dog meme before, even the Rick Grimes meme. Lately I’ve been obsessed with the “family groaning at a restaurant while dad laughs” meme. I’ve decided to bless you all with some of my favorites.

You’re welcome 😀

Or, you can hate me forever. Either way, credit goes to @IFindItFunny2. This is some exquisite punishment.

dad joke moderation

dad joke steak pun

 

 

dad joke kidnapping

dad joke hippo zippo

dad joke goldfish tank

dad joke flamingo

 

dad joke dead batteries

dad joke cow udder destruction

dad joke coffin

dad joke chocolate bar snickers

dad joke chicken sedan

doge in space card redux

Ridiculously Clever Jokes

SoS Practice Ad 2

Hmmm… It was recommended to me that I should narrow my focus if I want to promote better. Maybe I should narrow my focus on awful jokes.

These are awful, but really clever. No shame if you don’t understand all of them.

Here’s a sample:

“Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?”

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”

Yeah, it’s that kind of stuff.

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