Jury Booty…

Also known as “23 Annoyed People”

I am serving in a Grand Jury this month, and today was my first official day. It was interesting, but I think it’s gonna get old quickly.

There was no booty involved (although there was a very cute witness) but I wanted to come up with a catchy title.

For those of you in states or countries that don’t have Grand Juries, here’s how it works: We decide if there is enough evidence for a criminal trial. There are 23 of us, and a majority leads to indictment or dismissal. That’s all there is. It’s another level of protection for the accused, but it feels like a rubber stamp to me. As NY judge Sol Wachtler famously said (referring to the DA’s control over it) “a grand jury could indict a ham sandwich.”

More likely, any sandwich that appears in court will be eaten. All we could talk about between cases was putting together a bagels and coffee club and schedule. We were hungry, and we needed cawfee badly like the players in Gauntlet. We ended up with a hung jury on the bagels and cawfee. I was disappointed in the ruling.

I also learned that most of the stuff you see on crime shows is bullshit.

I can’t talk much about the cases, but I will do my best not to let it be a rubber stamp. After all, it’s my civic booty.

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guinea pig card


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