Things to Know About Me At Parties

  1. I am a hugger. I want to hug everyone.
  2. I am very aware that not everyone wants to hug, so I refrain from hugging most people. Sometime I do the awkward “one hand and back pat” hug
  3. That refrain turns into not touching people at all, so I end up seeming shy and aloof.
  4. I am shy and aloof, but still a hugger.
  5. I feel the need to say goodbye to everyone when leaving.
  6. I feel the need to hug everyone goodbye when leaving.
  7. It takes forever to go when leaving.
  8. I will say at least one awkward or inappropriate thing.
  9. I do not mean to say this awkward or inappropriate thing.
  10. When I say this awkward or inappropriate thing, it is always way too loud.
  11. I sometimes sing a response.
  12. My voice does not facilitate me singing said response.
  13. I find a way to work geeky stuff into every conversation.
  14. I struggle mightily to not look at boobs.
  15. I feel a twinge of guilt when I look at boobs.
  16. I wonder if people are looking at my boobs.
  17. I should not have boobs.
  18. I think that I am charming and witty.
  19. I don’t think that anyone else thinks I’m charming and witty.
  20. I still want to hug them.
    Can I hug you? No? What about the one-handed hug? No? What about a firm handshake?

    doge in space card redux

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2 thoughts on “Things to Know About Me At Parties

    • Yep. I can only be the person I’m supposed to be. Though I often dream that I was normal, that I didn’t this madness that surrounds me like miasma. Maybe there’s an alternate me somewhere that’s crazy-free

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