Oy vey! I went to Valerie’s mom’s place for Christian Christmas (as opposed to Jewish Christmas). So much food! So many presents! I’m in shock.
This is only the second time that I have celebrated Christmas with real live Christians. I have to admit, it is a fun holiday. The traditions, the egg nogg . . . ohhhh the egg nogg. Yesterday I was craving egg nogg so bad that I went out in the snow storm to get some.
I was shocked at the huge number of presents that I got. Stocking stuffers are a concept that doesn’t exist in Hannukah. They’re awesome, because you have more things to open up, and the surprise of unwrapping is the best part of any present.
This is my haul:
- A box of Spree
- 2 bags of Skittles
- a Jets scarf
- a Jets blanket (already draped over my couch)
- The Muppets Take Manhattan DVD (My woman knows me so well)
- Kermit’s Swamp Years DVD (more muppets!)
- Jay and Silent Bob action figures
I am such a man-child.
So what I have to say is: If Christians want to convert people from other religions, just expose us to Christmas . . . I ate ham! A big baked ham, and while I never kept kosher as a kid, we never had baked ham for dinner either. A couple of egg noggs and some “A Christmas Story” and you can convert the Ayotolla.
Have I mentioned that my girlfriend has a novel out? It’s called “The Epic Love Story of Doug and Stephen,” and it is hilarious. The greatest gay romantic stoner comedy ever (but it’s funny for straight people too). You can buy it here for only 99 cents!