On Love, Or, Love On

I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day. She is in a new relationship and madly in love with this guy. While talking about him, she said “I thought that I knew what love was with ____, but now I really know what it is with ____.”

I didn’t say anything at the time, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that something didn’t click with me. It’s about love.

Every love is different, and just because you found a new love doesn’t mean that your old love wasn’t real. Love is as individual as the people that created it. If this wasn’t true, then love would be boring, or worse, fleeting. The lovers will always question whether “this is true love,” and possibly look to other people for “Mister or Missus Right.”


All love is true, even if it’s unhealthy. I have loved wonderful women. Our loves were uplifting and made me a better person. I have also loved people that have brought me down, “poison lovers” (obscure music reference. Bonus points if you get it) that drove me to madness and despair. I refuse to say that even the bad loves were illegitimate. Bad love is still love.

But love is more than just good or bad. I love Katie differently from past uplifting lovers like Valerie, Jolene, or others that I’ve never mentioned here by name. I have friends that I love very much, and just because it’s not a romantic love, it’s still true. There is no “one twue wuv,” no one person in the world that you were destined to be with. Rather, you have many loves in your life, and don’t abandon one for another. Be proud of your loves. They are your creations and are always a part of you. Once you give a piece of your heart, you don’t give it back.

Luckily, love isn’t a finite object where you run out at the end. One of my favorite quotes on love comes from the online comic Kimchi Cuddles:


Yes, love is like Pi, irrational and never-ending. It is also like pie, tasty and good with ice cream.

Gorge yourself on pie until you fall into sugar shock. And try every flavor, even the ones that you don’t think that you’ll like. Every pie is different, but don’t regret the bad-tasting ones. Don’t eat them again, but keep baking.



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