Category Archives: Writing

The Ants and the Grasshoppers

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Once there was a terrible winter, with terrible cold, terrible snow, and a terrible lack of hot chocolate (with tiny marshmallows). The insects in the Woodly Woods barely survived, except for the ants, who had foresight and hid away enough food to survive the terrible cold, terrible snow, and terrible lack of hot chocolate (with tiny marshmallows).

Come Spring, Alexandra Ant, the leader of the ants, realized that the ants must help their fellow insects. They set up a great insect convocation. The beetles were there. The stinkbugs were there. All of the bugs were there.

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Gary the Gingerbread Man

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Once upon a time, there was a town full of live baked goods. There was Bill the Breadpudding, Terry the Tiramisu, Christine the Cookie, and far, far more. There was also Gary the Gingerbread Man, and he was one far different.

You see, Gary the Gingerbread Man never agreed with anyone. He wanted things his own way. If Bill the Breadpudding said water was wet, Gary the Gingerbread Man said it was dry. If Terry the Tiramisu said the sun was hot, Gary the Gingerbread Man said it was cold. And Gary the Gingerbread Man never changed his mind, even when he knew he was wrong.  Gary the Gingerbread Man knew that changing your mind is weakness. Gary the Gingerbread Man was inflexible and brittle, so he pretended to be hard.

Gary the Gingerbread Man decided that he was finished with such small-minded fools. They were all sheep, he thought. I know the Truth, though I am freshly baked. Admitting wrong is weakness.

Gary the Gingerbread Man ran away, into the deep woods away from the town. And when Bill the Breadpudding, Terry the Tiramisu, and Christine the Cookie went after him to bring him home, Gary the Gingerbread Man said “run, run, as fast as you can, I know the Truth, I’m the Gingerbread Man. And when Bill the Breadpudding went after him, Gary the Gingerbread Man said “run, run, as fast as you can, you’re just a sheep, I’m the Gingerbread Man.

And on and on he ran, refusing to see things any other way, for Gary the Gingerbread Man was inflexible and brittle, so he pretended to be hard.

And on and on he ran, until he was alone with his thoughts. But he was not alone with himself. Frankie the Fox found him until a Poplar tree. Frankie he Fox said “I like the way you think, Gary the Gingerbread Man. You are right, they are wrong. Everything they say is a lie, but you know the Truth.” And Gary the Gingerbread Man believed him, for what is a gingerbread man without frosting to sweeten him?

Gary the Gingerbread Man and all the foxes became friends. They said “I like the way you think, Gary the Gingerbread Man. You are right, they are wrong. Everything they say is a lie, but you know the Truth.” And Gary the Gingerbread Man believed them, because he believed himself.

Gary the Gingerbread Man told his fox friends about the town of baked goods. They pretended not to lick their lips and told him that they are wrong. They must be shown the Truth. Lead us to them, Gary the Gingerbread Man, and we will help you show them the Truth. And Gary the Gingerbread Man believed them, for what is a gingerbread man without frosting to sweeten him?

They all returned to the town of baked goods. When Gary the Gingerbread Man tried to tell him that he found others that knew the Truth, the foxes rushed forward and ate all the baked goods. They ate Bill the Breadpudding. They ate Terry the Tiramisu. They ate Christine the Cookie. They ate all of the villagers. And Gary the Gingerbread Man was happy, because they were sheep and deserved to be eaten by those that knew the Truth.

And then Gary the Gingerbread Man was alone. And then the foxes turned on Gary the Gingerbread Man. They said “thank you for the meal.” They circled Gary the Gingerbread Man. They said, “we are not finished. You must feed the Truth.”

The foxes ate Gary the Gingerbread Man. And as they bit off his legs and arms, Gary the Gingerbread Man was happy. He was feeding the Truth. He would die for the Truth. He was not inflexible and brittle, he was a hero.

Gary the Gingerbread Man didn’t care about Bill the Breadpudding. He only cared about himself. He never knew the Truth. He knew a Belief, and refused to listen to anything else.

Gary the Gingerbread Man died a fool, and everyone in the town of baked goods died because of him. Because Gary the Gingerbread Man was inflexible and brittle. And Gary the Gingerbread Man was wrong.

Gary the Gingerbread Man was always wrong.

Hey, did you like this story? Check out my historical fantasy, The Watchmage of Old New York. It’s only 99 cents for the holiday season, and available in paperback too! Books make great gifts, and ebooks are great (cyber) stocking stuffers.

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doge in space card redux

Writers Should Know Better

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During a conversation with other writers yesterday, I became shocked, SHOCKED, at how many think that they are so good that they don’t need further study or guided practice. At how many choose beta readers for a pat on a back instead of real feedback. At writers that don’t revise. At writers that think that BOOK REVIEWERS don’t have useful critiques and are only good for marketing and promotion (I always take reviews to heart. Someone went through the trouble of pointing out strengths and weaknesses. I won’t disrespect them by ignoring it). At writers that don’t read. At the pure arrogance of thinking that you are at the height of your powers and don’t need to grow anymore. It’s the height of elitism.

Could you imagine a professional musician that doesn’t practice for hours a day? Can you imagine a doctor that doesn’t follow new breakthroughs in medicine. Can you imagine an athlete than doesn’t practice or go to the gym? Can you imagine any job where you don’t try to improve on it?

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Indie Authors’ Day Workshop

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On Saturday I gave a lecture and workshop at Pine Plains Library, in upstate New York. This was my second straight year presenting for IAD. Instead of most presenters that I’ve seen, who give lectures on publishing and marketing, I focused on the actual craft. It doesn’t matter how great a writer you are, you can always be better (myself included), something so many writers forget. Being an author is a combination of narcissism and humility, and the second part is what helps you grow.

A general version of the lecture “The Hero’s Journey: It’s No Myth” is available on my website, but I was a teacher, and I’m best when I work out loud. I make jokes and obscure references. I bring props (usually toys). In this case, I brought tissue paper “plot points” and threw them back and forth with the crowd. I used a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine as a brainstorming prompt.

I miss teaching.

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Holy Shnikes! A 99 Cent Book Sale!

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Tomorrow is Indie Authors’ Day, and I am giving a presentation and workshop at a library upstate. To celebrate, I reduced the price of The Watchmage of Old New York to 99 cents! That’s 75% percent off! This is only for a few days, so if you like Historical Fantasy with complex characters, historical accuracy combined with a fantasy world woven into it, and a heavy dose of whimsy. You want this book.

Also, if you like my blog and want to support me, 99 cents is a good way to do so.

And if you’ve read it, please leave a review and tell your friends about it. Writers survive on your support alone.

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Why I Hate the Term “Indie Author”

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Indie Author Day is coming up, and I will be giving a presentation for a local library on writing (as I often do). But I cringe whenever I hear someone call themselves an “indie author.” Here are some reasons why. Feel free to add your own (or refute mine) in the comments

No author works alone: “Indie” comes from independent, and there is no such thing as a truly independent author. While writing the first draft may be a solitary endeavor, everything after that is a group process. An author has beta readers, editors, proofreaders, layout artists, cover artists, promotional groups (like RaveReviewsBookClub, which I belong to), and so on.

To call yourself indie is to say that these people don’t matter. Of course they matter. They make your book better, and to say that they aren’t a part of the process is arrogance. You do not create a book in a vacuum.

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New NY History article?

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I’ve been meaning for a while to write an article about the Battle of Stony Point, which took place July 15-16, 1779. I live about 5 miles from the battlefield site and I am there all the time (lots of pokestops and two gyms). i was hoping to get it up before the anniversary, but that ship has sailed.

Fine, whatever. It gives me time to go deeper detail.

Yes, I know that it’s not NYC history (Stony Point is in what’s now the city suburbs, as am I) but it’s nearby, a cool story, and I saw that they tried to recreate it on Turn: Washington’s Spies and got some details wrong for the sake of the show.

cosmic-cat-tripping-balls-redux

Update on the Watchmage Sequel

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It’s been far too long between books. My editor got bogged down with other projects, and I wouldn’t think of using anyone else. As a result, the book release for Cold Iron is tentatively pushed back to next year. I hate having to do that. I’ve lost a lot of momentum, but it’s more important to make it good than fast.

A lot of other writers need to learn this.

Did you know that once a book is accepted by a publishing house, it still goes through revisions and edits? For Song of Simon, it went through three rounds of editing after I signed the contract. I’m not even talking about proofreading. I mean full edits. Major publishing houses do even more than that. The Watchmage of Old New York went through tons of edits, from it’s original short story form, to the contract with Jukepop Serials, to it’s dalliance with Skyhorse Publishing, and finally to the first novel when I got the publishing rights back. A friend of mine has a contract with Random House. They’ve been passing edits back and forth for a year now. That doesn’t include the edits her agent recommended.

Short cuts lead to crap, and they give the entire indie community a bad name. A lot of other indie writers think that I’m elitist about this, but there’s nothing elitist about hard work. What’s elitist is releasing a book without several rounds of edits, thinking that your work is golden straight out of the box. It’s unprofessional, lazy, and self-indulgent. Do the work!!

That said, my editor made some significant comments that I agree with. Unfortunately it will require significant changes to the story. This is why I do so many drafts. It’s vital for a good book.

So screw momentum. I’m going to put out the best book I can, no matter how long it takes. Ten years from now it won’t matter how fast I put the books out, only how good they are.

doge in space card redux