That Time I Drove Off A Sexual Harasser With My Dick…

This is a funny story, but not a joke. It really happened.

I was at a small pool party at my friend “K”‘s house. It was mostly girls, but a creepy guy that was K’s acquaintance from facebook was there. For most of the afternoon, he was creeping on the girls, flirting and asking inappropriate questions. Nothing so bad that he earned the door, but enough to be weird.

Night came, and everyone left until it was Me, K, and creeper. Now he goes into full harassment mode. He’s talking about how hot and fuckable K is, and then suggests that she go skinny dipping (not him or me, just K). K and I are both hippies and have skinnydipped together, so normally we would have no problem with it. But K was weirded out and asked me how to get rid of him without physically throwing him out.

So I walked up to him said, “that’s a great idea! I’ll go first.” He was sitting, I was standing. I strip down right in front of him, my dick maybe three feet from him.

“Okay dude, now it’s your turn.” I gave a little hip check, just enough to make things wiggle. I’ve rarely seen a face with that much fear and embarrassment on it.

And suddenly he changed his mind. Shocking, right? He left five minutes later. The perv so intent on seeing a naked woman wasn’t brave enough to put up, so he ran.

Predators are cowards. How weak do you have to be to be scared of genitals?

The moral: If you won’t do something yourself, don’t demand it of others.

It’s a dick move.

The Watchmage of Old New York: Only 99 cents for a short time only!

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Copyright Infringement: The sincerest form of flattery

I was having a conversation with a writer friend the other day.  The topic switched to fan fiction, and I said “I can hardly wait until there’s some fan fiction for Song of Simon out there.”  He agreed and said that he was looking forward to fan fic for his novel too.

The reason that I find this funny, is because of the crazy paradigm shift in the past 10 years.  Fan fiction used to be something to laugh at, and for writers to condemn for infringing on their intellectual property.  Now it is something that writers embrace. I would love it if people wrote fan fic.  I would be honored.

Yes, it is still copyright infringement (although a case can be made for parody), but there’s no harm in it.  Yes, most fan fic is pretty bad, but there is a lot of really good fan fic out there too.  Valerie wrote tons and tons of fan fiction, ranging from everything from Buffy to Downton Abbey.  Like everything else that she wrote, it was brilliant.  I would love to send some of her Buffy stuff to Joss Whedon, but I don’t know how he would respond.

Fan fiction is also a great “starter project” for people who want to write, but are not confident enough in their own characters.  I never had this problem.  I had D & D, which gave me a very strong background in characterization.  Others are not so lucky.

Note: aspiring writers should join at least one roleplaying campaign.

The downside?  Every now and then, a stinker like 50 Shades of Grey gets out there.  Meh, can’t be worse than its source material (Twilight)

Also, why do I hate Twilight?  Because the protagonist is a bland nobody who lacks the ability to do anything for herself.  Instead she must be saved by equally bland men.  When her man leaves her, she tries to kill herself repeatedly.  There isn’t a heroic bone in her body.  She is the epitomy of the weak, subservient female stereotype that people have been fighting for over 100 years.  She has single handedly taught an entire generation of women to look pretty, bend over and let your man take care of everything.