The Hanger…The Hanger…

The hanger is real. I am so hangry right now that I don’t know whether to yell at the wall or eat it. Yes, I will eat the wall. I will eat that fucking wall until I get at all of that sweet insolation inside, like the inside of a tootsie roll pop.

I’m so hangry…so very hangry…

I’ve been trying very hard to drop these last 20 pounds, completing my Frodo-like journey from 390 to 220 over the past 5 years. I’ve been stuck at 240 for almost a year. I was down to 230 until last November when I visited my dad in Vegas. My dad…he really loves buffets. And all he keeps in the house to eat are giant muffins, bagels, and pasta. I put on 15 pounds. Yes, I understand that it’s not his fault, and I should have more willpower. But I don’t have willpower. I’m a see food eater. As long as I keep that stuff out of the house, I don’t eat it.

Soooo hangry.

I’m tempted to eat a pint of halo top right now.

I must be strong…

But so hangry…

Thoughts and prayers


Pssst: Cheap plug below. Buy my book, and it might make the hanger go away. Probably not, but it’s worth a try.

Watchmage black


Ketchup, You Devil

As some of you know, I went on a long journey from close to 400 lbs to 230, though I’ve bounced back up to 245. I’m incredibly frustrated that I can’t drop back down to 230 (my goal is actually 220). Last year I visited my father in Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. I was 232 before I left. I stayed there a week. My next weigh in at the doctor had me at 244. Since then I’ve been hovering in that 240-245 area.

I thought about how my diet has changed in the past year, and what I’ve been doing differently. My sodium and calorie intake is up (I started adding ham instead of fat free cheese to my massive veggie egg monster in the morning) and I’ve been using more hot sauce, since I’m losing my sense of taste. My exercise level is about the same, but after the car accident in august, I went about a month with no exercise and a lot of stress eating from the pain, mostly chinese food and pizza.

pizza rat won

Ok, those are obvious things that I can change. But there was something secret and insidious that I never thought of.


I’ve been dumping ketchup on everything. I thought that it would be healthier for me than my usual condiments because it’s lower in sodium. I never looked at the calories.

Holy shit, it’s a calorie bomb. One tbsp is 20 calories loaded with sugar.   Since I have big, veggie-loaded meals, I add a lot of it. I figure that I’m adding 80-100 calories per meal in ketchup alone. Three meals a day and you get the idea.

pikachu ketchup

That’s it. I’m swearing off you, Red Devil.

Back to Tabasco sauce 😉

guinea pig card

March Madness Has Stolen My Soul…and My Diet

I have been planted in my easy chair since Thursday morning, watching every freaking game in the NCAA Tournament till I pass out at midnight. I have eaten wings, pizza, chips, salad, pretzel hot dogs, jalapeno poppers, and my infamous “Devil Dip.” I have lost 130 pounds since 2013. I may have gained it all back.

I don’t usually post about sports, but I do like them, and I love March Madness. This year, I’ve had less invested in it (No Syracuse), but I have a pretty good bracket, and the games have almost all come down to the wire.

I don’t remember the last time New York had four teams in the tournament, including TWO SUNY SCHOOLS! Of course, two days in and they’re all eliminated. I picked all four teams in my bracket, including SUNY Albany to reach the Sweet Sixteen. Yes, it was a dumb move, but I have a sweet spot for SUNY. Anyway, I’ve only lost 3 Sweet Sixteen teams, so I’m still in the hunt.

March Madness isn’t just a feat of endurance for the players, it is for spectators too. Challenge yourself to sit around for 12 hours a day/ 4 days, eating crappy food and watching the game (although exciting) game. It’s like a marathon for lazy ass fans.

I am lazy. I am a fan. I have an ass…and it’s getting larger as I write.