boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants and…
I can’t get this out of my head. It’s the baseline from hell and it’s eating away at my brain like a very hungry caterpillar.
About how Valerie and I would sometimes have “working dates,” where I could sit on her couch, typing away at my latest story or editing my novel. She would sit and work at her desk (she always worked at her desk) with Rancid or The Transplants or any one of the millions of Tim Armstrong projects pumping his frantic mumbling into the airwaves. Valerie loved to work. She loved to be doing something, anything. We both found comfort in our work and in each other.
There is a reason why this is so extraordinary: I don’t like people. What I mean is that when there are people around me, it raises my stress levels. At times it has caused panic attacks, though this is usually associated with a bipolar cycle. It is very hard for me to be in public. I often have vomiting fits from being around too many people. I usually put on a persona–a super-nice, polite guy who isn’t me at all–in order to survive. Of course, people like the super-nice me better than the real me.
There are only a few people that do not trigger this reaction. My brother, Scott, is one, I’ve had a lifetime with him. Some of my friends from college (Like Osvaldo) are others, but it took a long time to feel that way. The same with my college girlfriend, Jolene.
Valerie was the only one where I felt that way immediately. She made me feel so comfortable, she became a part of who I am so quickly and completely. It was like she was always there, and I didn’t know it until I met her.
Damn, I am crying again.
Switching to a more postivie topic, Chapter Four of The Watchmage of Old New York is up and running at Jukepop Serials. I suggest that you read it, vote for it (you have to register, but that takes half a minute) and share it with your geekier friends. You can vote once for each chapter, which means that right now each of you can give me 4 votes. The votes are what keep the serial alive, and if I get enough, I can get bonus money. To a starving artist like me, that bonus money means that I can buy new pants…I really need new pants.