Where am I going, where have I been?

Sometimes I go through phases where I’m just not moved to post here. I don’t know why. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say. I always have something to say, and I usually say it at length, out loud, and until I piss somebody off. Maybe I’m just tired.

June has been a weird month. It always is. June is the month when my mother died. June is the month where I realized how much I loved Valerie, and always would.

I shouldn’t dwell on either of those, but I always do. Every time I watch a scene in a hospital, I fight back tears.

June also begins The Starving Times for me, and every other teacher. No work, no pay. At least I picked up a couple of big editing jobs. I don’t usually get many editing jobs. I charge union prices, and most people on the internet charge half that. That’s fine, you get what you pay for.

It’s also Michelada time…I’m betting that most of you don’t know what it is. Picture a Bloody Mary, but with beer instead of vodka. It doesn’t get you as messed up, and the carbonation makes it a bit more refreshing. It’s my official drink of the Summer.

I went to the Clearwater Festival on the 20th and 21st. The weather was pretty bad, but if anything, it made things even better. I camped out for the first time, I had good friends there, and made new ones as well. Clearwater is so different from the real world. People actually give a damn about each other. You might write it off as hippie bullshit, but it’s true. I suppose it’s something you have to experience.

The music was pretty damn good too. Check out this amazing band of teenaged brothers called Sleepy Man doing the bluegrass standard Foggy Mountain Breakdown.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVrzseTKiA

I’m inching closer publishing day for The Watchmage of Old New York. I just rewrote one final scene. Now to do a line edit, format it with ToC and acknowledgements, get a proofreader, and get my awesome layout artist to put it all together. I’m still too nervous to set it all up myself. I know I’ll fuck it up somehow. All I really know how to do is write. I’m helpless when it comes to publishing.

I dunno. I’ve been dragging my feet on it. I’m a perfectionist, and I’m afraid of even little errors. Maybe i’m subconsciously making excuses for not publishing. I’m not worried about the actual writing, it’s all the little things that I don’t know how to do that scare me. I’m still aiming for a September or October release, so keep an eye out.

Maybe July will be better.

Watchmage Update, or The Joy of Editing

On Saturday I got my edits back for The Watchmage of Old New York. There are cross-outs, critiques, and suggestions all over the place, and I couldn’t be happier.

watchmage small

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been sensitive when critiqued. That was knocked out of me by my first writing professor 20 years ago. Since then, I’ve learned to find the most ruthless, nitpicking, evil people to edit my work. I want someone with enough heat in them to burn out all of the impurities. If your editor isn’t ruthless, the product won’t be pure.

So far, Watchmage has been edited as a short story, a serial, and now a novel (each serial story arc gets its own novel. this is the first one). I think these are the last edits…maybe.

I love editing. I love revising. I love looking back at old work and thinking “man, I can do so much better now.” It means that I’ve leveled up, and I have a new xp total to reach.

excited space cat

Never fear your editor. Never get upset or discouraged by the red pen. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good, it means that you have room to get better, and this is how.

Enough with the rah rah philosophy. The update is that Watchmage is coming also smoothly, and I plan to release the first novel, The Watchmage of Old New York, this fall. Oh frabjous day, callooh callay!

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.7/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, 2014, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

doge in space card redux

“Watchmage” Novel Update

I was planning for a May release of the novelized version of The Watchmage of Old New York. That isn’t going to happen. My editor is working very diligently on it, as is my cover artist. Neither will be ready for a while.

I’m ok with that. I’d rather put out something late, but of higher quality, than something rushed and faulty.

In the mean time, I’m working on the sequels, and some short stories for an anthology.

The short stories are affecting me. I have professional level stories going back fifteen years, and many have been published in magazines or journals. That’s great, but to me they are examples of how far I’ve come since those first trembling words. They take me back to a place I once was, but will never be again. Once I was full of hope. I thought that by now I’d have a major publishing deal and would be a true success. Instead, I let my madness overwhelm me. Writing has become less a dream and more a necessity. Writing keeps me alive, and it’s the closest I get to “happy.”

I am miserable by nature, and that is not going to change. I’ve found that I can’t even talk about my past anymore without triggering depression and/or anxiety. My anxiety is getting worse. I’m not a success. I’m a writer trying not to die.

Yeah, I know that I’m bitching and moaning. I also know that if you don’t have bipolar syndrome, any comment you make about “sucking it up” is ignorant and presumptuous. Live in these shoes. See how they fit. Take my meds and suffer the side effects. Suffer the twitches and ticks. Suffer the failing endocrine system. Enjoy living on a disability check, not because you don’t work, but because without Medicare, you are dead. I dare you.

Yet I still manage to work part-time. I still manage to scape out a living. People say that if you’re on disability, you’re lazy and sponge off the government and honest tax payers. Be thankful that you don’t have to.

By the way, I receive 800 dollars a month from disability, and 150 dollars from food stamps. Can you live on 950 a month? In one of the richest counties in the world (my rent for a studio apt is 1150? And be trapped here because you are so entrenched in the system? Try it. I dare you.

Or shut up. They both work.

This post took an ugly turn. Here’s a meme to make you happy.

cosmic-cat tripping balls postcard

Why I’m Choosing to Self Publish

After months of contemplation, I decided to self-publish my historical-fantasy series, The Watchmage of Old New York. This is a huge sea change for me. My first novel, Song of Simon, was published by Damnation Books. It’s always been my dream to be a published novelist, and I’ve been very resistant to self publishing. But a wise man isn’t afraid to rethink his views, and I’ve come around. I’ll explain more below.

Some of you know Watchmage from JukePop Serials, where it was and is one of the most popular serials on the site. This is completely different…well, not completely, but not the same.

What I am planning is to take each story arc from the serial (there are three) and expand each one into it’s own novel, complete with added subplots and new characters. The first story arc in the serial was 90 pages. The novelized version is 275 pages. So it’s not the same old story, rather a retelling and expansion.

I’m almost done with the first draft of the second novel, and I’m aiming for an April or May launch for the first one.

But there’s so much shiny…

Why I Switched to Self-Publishing

I’m not a “do it yourself” kind of guy. The idea of having to create (or hire people to do) every aspect of a novel is intimidating. I only know two things: writing, and teaching writing.

So why am I switching? Creative Control. I realized that there’s nothing a publisher can do (outside of the Big Six) that I can’t do on my own. I can hire an editor, layout artist, cover artist, etc. It’s a big financial investment, but it allows me to be master of my own destiny. Damnation Books has been good to me (don’t believe the negative hype. It’s not a favorable contract, but they aren’t scam artists, and they produce excellent fiction), but I’m not willing to sign a long term contract for a series. Since Watchmage isn’t appropriate for DB anyway, I’d have to find a new publisher.

Traditional publishing and self publishing are both headaches. The traditional route offers free editing, layout, and cover art. Great, but you lose control over those aspects, along with pricing. You also have to wait a long time, as many publishers don’t accept simultaneous submissions. The submission process kills me. I’m tired of waiting.

Self publishing gives you more power, but with great power comes great responsibility. If you mess up, you have no one to blame. And there are plenty of places to mess up. With such a heavy financial investment, there’s a lot on the line. There’s also a lack of gravitas with self publishing, though this is starting to fade.

I will never disagree with Neil Gaiman

I suppose the real reason I resisted is because of my own ego. I started writing professionally about 15 years ago. There was no self publishing beyond Xerox copies stapled together. There was barely an Internet. The dream was to sign on with a publisher, and that’s the dream I stuck with. I achieved that dream, but it wasn’t as sweet as I expected. There’s no marketing from small publishers beyond the first few months, and even the Big Six only market the books that people show interest in. Either way, the author has to do most of the promotion. If I have to do the heavy lifting, I’m gonna keep all the control.

Yeah, I’m terrified. This is a huge endeavor, and it would be so much easier to just lay back and let a publisher do all the work. It’s still very tempting, and if Tor or Del Rey sent me a letter right now that they wanted to look at a draft, I’d send it out right away. But that’s not going to happen.

I’m already a published author, so my fragile ego and desperate need for approval is intact. Times change and dreams change. So can I.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

The Mask: Comics and Secret Identities Part 2

Welcome back. This is a continuation of a previous post. I suggest that you read the first part before this one, just so you know where I’m going with it.

Superman and Clark Kent as an Anomaly

Superman poses an interesting contrast to the traditional mask in that he doesn’t wear one. It’s a constant joke among fans that no one recognizes him. I mean, how can anyone be that stupid? I’ll explain below, but first I want to talk about what makes Superman unique.

Both Clark Kent and Superman can be called his “true persona.” He was raised Clark, and until his powers manifested, he was an ordinary boy and unaware of his lineage. This parallels the classic stories of Hercules, Moses, Harry Potter, Jesus, etc. But when he comes into his power, Superman leaves Clark Kent behind. He still carries much of his personality and morality, but they are not the same. He smashed that shell like the many buildings he’ll smash in the future. When you can look at the Earth from a dozen miles up, you never look at it the same way again.

I want to find who said this, but the writer is wearing a mask.

But Supes wants to be Clark Kent again. He doesn’t have to lead a human life, but he chooses to. The “new” Clark Kent is Supes fantasy of what his life would’ve been like if he was a human, not a Kryptonian. In the movie Kill Bill, Bill claims that Clark is an example of how Supes see humans: weak, bumbling, and awkward. I say that it’s a mask, but the one Supes wears to experience some of his old life. Through his upbringing, he is neither human or Kryptonian, but a little of both.

I wish they focused more on this in the recent movie, or at least the next one.

As for nobody recognizing him, it’s because people don’t see the man, they see the mask (or uniform). Last year, Jimmy Fallon did a bit where he had Mets pitcher Matt Harvey ask people questions about what they thought of Matt Harvey. No one recognized him out of his uniform, and hilarity (sorta) ensued.

People didn’t recognize Harvey–even though he was the hottest thing in New York–because he was out of uniform. It makes perfect sense to me that they wouldn’t associate Clark with a red and blue blur (Smallville reference).

Masks and Identity in The Watchmage of Old New York

watchmage small

In my serial (and forthcoming novels) The Watchmage of Old New York, masks and disguises play an important part of the setting. The Dwellers–mythical creatures drawn into our world through people’s dreams and beliefs–all wear magical disguises in order to survive in the city. They know the cruelty of humans, and they understand the danger if they were discovered.

When I devised that, I drew on a few scenes from Maus, where the jewish mice wear (polish) pig masks to move around the ghetto. Maus always had a strong effect on me. Most of my family immigrated before the Holocuast, but still.

If you haven’t read Maus, start.

I know that in real history, some Jews were able to hide their ethnicity, and even do it in America. Here, Jewishness (and all ethnicities) is in danger of being assimilated by the larger culture. They’re–if you will–being thrown into the melting pot. It’s tragic to immigrate and save your life, only to lose your identity.

The Watchmage has to hide his identity as well. At the time the serial begins, he’s already 150 years old, and has lived several lives. Each time he has to build a new identity, but he doesn’t have the luxury of leaving and starting again elsewhere. He will spend all of eternity taking new identities, living many lives that are never his.

Everybody Wears a Mask: It’s Called The Internet

I’m not the first person to point this out, but we all wear masks. You are not the same person at work as you are at the bar. You’re not the same around children as you are around the elderly. That’s normal. A person is not a piece of paper. A person is a gem with a thousand facets, and each facet shines with its own light. People are way too quick to judge another as “fake” when they see a facet they’ve never seen before.

If we were to approach the world as a simple paper, it would surely tear us apart. The masks that we wear protect us from the world. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the world is not a pleasant place.

I’m wearing a mask right now. So are you. You’re reading this through an interface, where you can use any avatar you want and reply as any persona you want to be. Hell, you can be Batman for all I know. We live in a world of masks now: Twitter, Facebook, blogs, they’re all masks that let you deal with the world around you.

Don’t be sad. Don’t be ashamed. When Spiderman or Batman dons the mask, they become something greater than what they were. There’s no reason why you can’t too.

Excelsior.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist).

New Watchmage!

For those of you that are ready my serial “The Watchmage of Old New York,” chapter 38 is ready.  I also decided to go back to a weekly schedule instead of biweekly.  We’re nearing the end, so if you have serial anxiety because you don’t like to wait, you can start now.  You won’t reach the end by the time it’s done.  Believe me, it’s worth the read.

It’s FREE with registration at Jukepop Serials.  If you like history, mystery, fantasy, steampunk, or New York city, you’ll love it.

Interview for examiner.com and a short excerpt

I’m a starting what the hep, hep, people call a “blog tour” to promote Song of Simon. My first interview was with Casey Harvell, the NY Books examiner for Examiner.com. You’ll have to forgive the formatting (examiner can be weird to format sometimes, I know from experience). Here is an excerpt:

Please welcome author Craig Sanders! C.A.Sanders is a writer of both fiction and non-fiction. His short fiction has been published in many magazines–both electronic and print–over the past 10 years. His stories span genres from literary and humor to fantasy/sci and horror. His first novel,Song of Simon, is set for release on Sept. 1st, 2013. His serial, The Watchmage of Old New York, is currently available with FREE registration at jukepopserials.com

Tell us a little bit about yourself:

That’s a tough question, I know so much stuff about myself, but not necessarily stuff I want other people to know. I’m thirty-six, a former special ed teacher, now writing full time. While I did like working special ed, it’s a very stressful, physically demanding, and occasionally messy, job. I grew up in the Bronx and then Rockland County, NY, and non-New York accents hurt my ears.

This is not something that I usually confess, but I have Bi-polar Syndrome. I take my medicine and have it under control, but it’s such a large aspect of my life that I feel it is important to share. I think that being set apart from “normal” people by this disease helps me to write from a more objective perspective. It’s up to the reader to judge if this is a good thing.

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I go on to discuss SoS and Watchmage, along with favorites, motivation, and some of the little quirks that make me the crazy bastard that I am.

Press Release for “The Watchmage of Old New York”

Like the one I wrote for Song of Simon, here is the one for “Watchmage.”

********************************

Press Release Announcement: The Watchmage of Old New York

Contact: C.A. Sanders, casanders77@gmail.com  www.casanders.net

 

New York Author C.A. Sanders Brings 19th Century Manhattan to Life With Steampunk Fantasy The Watchmage of Old New York

watchmage small

New York native C.A. Sanders brings his city’s history to life–with a healthy dose of fantasy—in his award-winning serial, The Watchmage of Old New York.  Set in 1855, “Watchmage” follows Nathaniel Hood, a one hundred and fifty year old wizard, who is the appointed guardian and law enforcement of New York’s magical community.  This community involves fairy tale creatures—called “Dwellers”—and mortals dabbling in the mystical arts.

When a wealthy family’s infant goes missing without a trace, Nathaniel suspects magical involvement.  His quest for answers leads him deep into New York’s magical underworld, where even a powerful wizard will find far more than he is looking for.

Later story arcs involve Dweller terrorism, a magic-smuggling operation, and a vicious killer that targets Dwellers.  Sanders plans many more story arcs, and novels that expand on each story.

“The 1850s was a rough time for New York,” says Sanders.  “The Irish Potato Famine led to a massive influx of immigrants unlike anything that the city had ever seen.  Violence and poverty were a fact of life in some areas, like Five Points (currently Chinatown) and Corlear’s Hook (currently the Lower East Side).  Meanwhile, the city’s upper class lived a life of obscene opulence.  There were major gains in the arts, with The Hudson River School of painting, and such writers as Edgar Allen Poe, Herman Melville, and Walt Whitman.  I do my best to explore all of that, in addition to the mythology that comes with these magical creatures.

“The concept of “Watchmage” is that the immigrants brought their hopes and dreams over the ocean, including creatures of dream: Elves, Goblins, Trolls, and the like.  Some came willingly, others were dragged against their will.  Either way, they are here and it’s up the Watchmage to guide them in this New World.”

The Watchmage of Old New York is hosted at www.jukepopserials.com, where it is consistently one of the most popular serials.

About the Author

C.A. Sanders is a writer of both fiction and nonfiction. In addition to The Watchmage of Old New York, His debut novel, Song of Simon, is available from www.Damnationbooks.com and  www.Amazon.com He formerly covered music for such sites as Relix, Examiner.com, and Suite101.com.

C.A. has a Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from SUNY New Paltz, and a Master’s degree from the City University of New York.  Born in the Bronx during the dark decade of the 1970s, he currently lives in the New York suburbs.  He remains confident that this is the year the NY Jets win the Super Bowl…he says this every year.

Visit his website www.casanders.net

 

 

Watchmage Returns!!!!

After my last story arc of Watchmage, I decided to take a break to work on the novelized version. Demand was high enough for a new Watchmage story that I came back. And so today is…

WATCHMAGE WEEK!!

Yesterday I released the first chapter of the new story arc, “The Wild Hunt.” I will release another chapter tomorrow and on Thursday. After that, I’ll go back to the old routine, a new chapter every Monday.

This new story is very personal to me, and much darker than the first two. I wrote this in the first few months after Valerie died, and it’s fairly obvious. It was painful to write, but everything was painful then. To be honest (and aren’t I always) things are still very painful.

I have other motivations as well. During my absence, Watchmage fell behind on votes. I didn’t realize it, but the end of this month is the Jukepop bi-annual prize. Whoever is in first place wins 500 Dollars!!

I am behind, but it is still within my reach with enough votes. I need help from my fans and friends though. Please vote for the new chapters. If you’ve voted, thank you. You can also share the link on facebook, twitter, or word o’ mouth. You can also leave reviews at the bottom of the serial’s page. Thank you so much.

The next post will be about Song of Simon, as we’re getting close to release date. Stay cool, friends.

IIIIIIIII Gotta Crow…

I’m currently giving “The Wild Hunt,” the next chapter in the “Watchmage” serial, a good hard edit. As I said, when I wrote this, I was still seriouly grieving. I want to cut back on some of the more painful stuff, without losing the impact of the piece. I am very excited to be finishing this up, and to be working with JukePop Serials again. I have all this ideas for short and longer stories in the Watchmage world, each one doing a bit more world building. I want to focus on lesser characters in some, and expand on the city the way that the novel does.

btw: almost done with the novel as well. As good as this serial is, the novel blows it out of the water. I can’t help but crow.

Bonus points if you get the title reference.