Author Archives: C. A. Sanders

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About C. A. Sanders

Hi, everyone. I am a semi-established writer of fiction and non-fiction. I live in Rockland County, NY, where I ply my trade and occasionally get paid for it. You can see my full website, with links to published work and my blog, at www.casanders.net

Things to Know About Me At Parties

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  1. I am a hugger. I want to hug everyone.
  2. I am very aware that not everyone wants to hug, so I refrain from hugging most people. Sometime I do the awkward “one hand and back pat” hug
  3. That refrain turns into not touching people at all, so I end up seeming shy and aloof.
  4. I am shy and aloof, but still a hugger.
  5. I feel the need to say goodbye to everyone when leaving.
  6. I feel the need to hug everyone goodbye when leaving.
  7. It takes forever to go when leaving.
  8. I will say at least one awkward or inappropriate thing.
  9. I do not mean to say this awkward or inappropriate thing.
  10. When I say this awkward or inappropriate thing, it is always way too loud.
  11. I sometimes sing a response.
  12. My voice does not facilitate me singing said response.
  13. I find a way to work geeky stuff into every conversation.
  14. I struggle mightily to not look at boobs.
  15. I feel a twinge of guilt when I look at boobs.
  16. I wonder if people are looking at my boobs.
  17. I should not have boobs.
  18. I think that I am charming and witty.
  19. I don’t think that anyone else thinks I’m charming and witty.
  20. I still want to hug them.
    Can I hug you? No? What about the one-handed hug? No? What about a firm handshake?

    doge in space card redux

(In Just Seven Years) Rocky Horror Made Me a Man

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Note: I wrote this in 2015, but I love Rocky so much that I felt it needed an update.

 

Some of you will get the title reference. You are my people. Thank you for existing.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show turns 42 this year. I’m not sure if this is old or young, because it’s always been an old movie for me. Even though I’ve seen it hundreds (literally) of times, it’s always seemed like something from the past brought into the present for lonely souls like me. It was a holy relic, and we were the cult that formed around it.

For better or worse, Rocky Horror made me who I am.

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Legacy Board Games

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I really enjoy the Legacy games like Risk: Legacy and Pandemic: Legacy. I love that each game has repercussions that effect every game afterwards. For example, in Risk: Legacy, the winner gets to place a city or rename a continent and gets bonuses based on that, other countries get bonuses and penalties based on battles that took place there, worldwide events are triggered through battles, etc. It shows the devastation of war, and how future wars are shaped by it. We are all shaped by our past, whether it’s on a small or grand scale.

Also, it’s a much faster game, as you don’t have to conquer everyone, just earn 4 victory points.

So I was thinking about other games that could be made into Legacy games.

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My Weekend: Cheers and Jeers

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Jeers: Back and Neck pain. Please make this stop. Just pull out my spine and stick a tension rod in there.

Cheers: Geek night on Saturday. Finished an rpg story arc with my friends (we’re playing a superhero RPG). Leveled up. Ate pizza and drank beer. Ended the night with a spirited game of Risk: Legacy. Discovered that falling asleep drunk means that I won’t toss and turn with back pain…still a bad idea.

Cheers: Tailgating at the Jets game. Woke up at 7. Got there with my friends. Was drinking by 10. Ate way too much. Had a great time. I love my friends and love tailgating even more.

Cheers/Jeers: The Jets game. 90 degree heat and direct sunlight. I was wearing my hardhat and some facepaint, so it was kinda torturous. Especially since all I had to drink so far was cawfee and beer. I think I drank 4 waters and 2 gatorades during the game…I don’t do well in the heat.

But the game was great, and the Jets won! By a lot! Against the Dolphins (to longtime fans like me, the Dolphins are our traditional rival, not the Patriots)! We had great seats (end zone 100 level). Two of my friends that went had never been to an NFL game before, and they both enjoyed it.

As a side note, no one booed the kneeling players, and a good chunk of the crowd kneeled as well. Take that as you wish.

Jeers: The dehydration/hangover headache on Monday. Oy vey.

I hope that you enjoyed this blatant ripoff of TV Guide’s Cheers and Jeers section…back when people used to read TV Guide.

I Am My Turtle’s Slave

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I’ve posted about Shelvin, my pet Eastern Painted Turtle and friend for 34 years (yes, I’ve had him since I was 6), but I don’t think that I’ve ever gotten into our disturbing dynamic. I thought that I was training him, but no, he was training me.

Shelvin rainbow

Shelvin with a suncatcher covering him in a rainbow. The thing that looks like French Toast is his floating island.

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But People Want Happy Posts

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I know it. When people read a blog on WP, they’re looking for happy posts that make them feel good. And I try. I post memes, jokes, stuff that might bring a smile.

But I don’t feel that way. I rarely feel that way. And as the pain in my neck and back from the accident refuses to subside, creating a feedback loop of pain>stress>anxiety>more pain, I feel even worse.

Yesterday I was overwhelmed with this thought: Everyone that you know and love will die. You will watch them die. You will suffer for them and mourn them but there is nothing that you can do but watch as they disappear. And then you will slowly forget them. First you’ll forget their voice. Then their face, the things they wore, good and bad times that you had, everything, it will all disappear like a sandcastle during high tide. All that will be left is a gravestone that people step over to visit other gravestones.

I know this for a fact. I can’t remember much about my grandfather, who died 22 years ago, when I was 18. He’s a mirage, a glimmer in my memory. I can’t remember my mom’s voice. She died 5 years ago. I’m having trouble remembering Valerie’s. She died four years ago. Soon they will vanish as if they never existed.

And the best case scenario is that we die first, so that we don’t have to endure those losses.

Anyway, here’s a funny meme.

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Why I Hate the Term “Indie Author”

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Indie Author Day is coming up, and I will be giving a presentation for a local library on writing (as I often do). But I cringe whenever I hear someone call themselves an “indie author.” Here are some reasons why. Feel free to add your own (or refute mine) in the comments

No author works alone: “Indie” comes from independent, and there is no such thing as a truly independent author. While writing the first draft may be a solitary endeavor, everything after that is a group process. An author has beta readers, editors, proofreaders, layout artists, cover artists, promotional groups (like RaveReviewsBookClub, which I belong to), and so on.

To call yourself indie is to say that these people don’t matter. Of course they matter. They make your book better, and to say that they aren’t a part of the process is arrogance. You do not create a book in a vacuum.

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You Don’t “Earn Respect”

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I have noticed a lot of memes going around about how people have to “earn respect” by proving themselves worthy of it. Things like this meme:

earn respect Yoda

This is a lumbering dumptruck load of self-satisfied bullshit. It’s like saying “I will treat you like a sub-human until you pass my moral obstacle course.” What kind of arrogant bastard thinks that way? How about instead you say “I will treat you with respect until you do something hurtful or otherwise prove that you’re not worthy of it.”

You don’t “earn respect.” You lose it. A person should treat everyone that they meet with respect and common decency. If the person proves that they don’t deserve it, then they lose it. To think otherwise assumes that people are bad until they prove themselves good. They assume guilty until proven innocent.

Truthfully, I give people several chances. We’re all human, and we all have bad days. Life isn’t easy, and everyone has their own struggle. I won’t let one bad day ruin them for me forever. Yes, I sometimes get burned. More often I find dear friends that I would’ve shut out if I forced them to earn respect.

The irony is that people that demand that you earn respect, often demand respect without earning it.

If a person demands that I jump through their hoops before they judge me worthy, but thinks that they are above such judgement, they lose the respect that I gave them to begin with.

earn respect but demands it

If you find yourself doing this, ask yourself why? Have you been burned by people you respected in the past? Boo hoo, so has everyone. So have I. It doesn’t mean that my world view comes tumbling down. Don’t let your past affect your future.

Be brave, and risk that loss. Have a backbone, not a wishbone.

Watchmage black

cosmic-cat-tripping-balls-redux