Author Archives: C. A. Sanders

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About C. A. Sanders

Hi, everyone. I am a semi-established writer of fiction and non-fiction. I live in Rockland County, NY, where I ply my trade and occasionally get paid for it. You can see my full website, with links to published work and my blog, at www.casanders.net

5 Low Level D&D Monsters Made Deadly

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I love Dungeons & Dragons. I’ve been playing since I was 10 years old (I’m 39 right now), and hopefully I’ll play until I die (or drop to negs). D&D has been a major influence on my writing. Not that I rip them off, but the skills I learned helped with world building, narrative flow, and especially character development.

I enjoy being a PC more than a DM, and I’ve been lucky enough to have some excellent DMs over the years. That said, I love coming up with great scenarios for combat. As one of my DMs said,”it is all about the setting and the dynamic of the landscape.” I agree, but it’s also about customizing monsters (in logical ways) to make them unique and deadly.

In this post, I took some low level monsters–the kind a party would face at 1st to 3rd level–and souped them up. With these changes, they can be deadly to any size party of much higher level. Enjoy.

(some contributions are borrowed from gamer friends John B and Osvaldo O.)

RUN AWAY!!!

1) Kobolds. Bah, Kobolds are basically xp machines for low level parties. 4 HP, a mediocre AC, reduced damage, there’s not much to intimidate the PCs here. Just kill the rat-dogs and loot the bodies.

Answer: Rogue Levels. Kobolds have two distinct advantages: numbers and dexterity. If you put them to use, they become very deadly. Have them surround the PCs, two kobolds can fit in one 5ft box, so you can get up to 16 (!) in there. Give a few of them a rogue level or even two. They now have Sneak Attack, and since a surrounded PC would be flanked, they always get that damage bonus. Their numbers will make casting difficult (taking out area-affect spells), and 2nd level rogues get Evasion. Imagine the look on players faces when they’re facing down a pack of Kobolds that can cause 11 points of damage with one hit. Smile and laugh.

For an added laugh, have the encounter in the dark, where the Kobold’s Darkvision gives them a big advantage. When PCs fight, they almost always set down the lantern. Have a Kobold kick it over. PCs also drop their packs in a fight. Have a few Kobolds steal the packs and retreat for even more hilarity. Even if they kill all the Kobolds, they still have to find the thieves that took their stuff.

gif dnd cat paladin

2) Wild Dogs or Wolves: Dogs and Wolves aren’t monsters, but they’re a fairly common encounter at low level. They don’t have many HP, and they don’t do extraordinary amounts of damage. Wolves are more difficult, but nothing a low level party can’t handle.

Answer: Group Tactics and Trip. Both species are pack animals, and this is how they fight in the wild. Wolves already get Trip, but give it to the dogs too. Add Group Tactics (BAB +1 for everyone with GT fighting the same enemy, up to +3) to Trip and they will pull your PCs to the ground and have their way with them (not like that). Wolf pack tactics are a beautiful thing.

Note: Some party members might have qualms about killing animals. Attack them last, eat them first.

Gives Me XP

3) Goblins: Goblins are the whipping boy of the D&D world. They pick fights with every race, and almost always lose. Only their prolific breeding keeps them around. Despite this, Goblins have a wicked, crafty intelligence and love traps and ambushes. A good DM uses all of this.

Answer: A Bard. Bards are so versatile, they’re perfect for any trap. Besides a variety of spells that can confuse or disable PCs (Daze, Flare, Sleep, Cause Fear, Simple Illusions, etc) they have the excellent Inspire Courage song. There’s no set amount of creatures this can affect. It doesn’t matter if they are 5 or 50, as long as they can hear the singer, they get a +1 to saves, attacks, and damage. This counts for missile weapons too. As with the Kobolds, you can have them fight in the dark, though I prefer missile attacks from concealment like trees or bushes. Add some wolf riders to keep the PCs off the missilers, and you have a killer encounter.

One tip, have all the goblins sing, and dress the Bard the same as the others. This way, the PCs can’t target the Bard specifically.


Apparently Jareth the Goblin King has some Bard levels.

4) Zombies. Everyone loves fighting Zombies. They have a good amount of hit points and damage resistance, but they’re slow and have a poor BAB. Zombies can be trouble for a party without a Cleric, but a Turn Undead ability usually takes care of them.

Answer: Water. I never understood the Slam or Weapon attacks for a zombie. I’ve seen a lot of zombie movies and the attack is always the same: grab and bite. A variation of this would be “grab and drown.”

The undead don’t need to breathe, but PCs do. Have the zombies pull them to a watery doom. Use enough water to drown a person, but not so much that the zombies can’t reach the PCs from the water’s bottom. A shallow pond or swamp works well.

From a cinematic POV, imagine swimming across a darkened lake, only to have corpse-like hands grab you from beneath and pull you under. Scary stuff, right?

As for using Turn Undead, it’s up to the DM. Do you have to see the creatures to turn them, and can you do so without being able to speak? A good grapple might keep a PC from reaching their holy symbol too. We may be 70% water, but it’s better on the inside than out.

I like playing a cleric sometimes.

5) Lizardfolk. I am partial to lizardfolk, probably because I’ve been playing one as a PC for the past 3 years (maybe 4). Lizzies are tough, but their lack of tactics in the wild limit the challenge toward PCs. From the D&D wiki: Lizardfolk fight as unorganized individuals. They prefer frontal assaults and massed rushes, sometimes trying to force foes into the water, where the lizardfolk have an advantage.

The obvious answer would be to give more sophisticated tactics (like the zombie drowning scenario from above), but I drew from real-world culture for a different solution.

Answer: Poisoned Weapons. Lizardfolk are swamp dwellers and there are plenty of poisonous animals/plants in the swamp. There’s no reason why they can’t harvest and use poisons. Human cultures have been doing it for thousands of years.

Lizardfolk could put the poison on javelins or darts, or even (and this would be pretty awesome) their claws. Lizardfolk get the very awesome claw, claw, bite multi-attack. If it’s a poison they have natural immunity too (and I imagine there to be several poisons like this) they can dip their claws in the swampy goodness. Given the many different types of poisons, the possibilities are endless. Personally, I would use paralyzing or strength-sapping poison and then have the lizardfolk drown them in the swamp or eat them alive. I’m a twisted bastard.

So there you go, five scrub monsters turned into PC killers. Use with caution, challenging a party is fun, causing a Total Party Kill is not.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. I also suggest picking up my latest novel The Watchmage of Old New York. Set in 1855 Manhattan, it’s a blend of vivid history, in-depth magic, gumshoe mystery and fairy-tale fantasy. It’s based on the original serial at Jukepop Serials, where it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

the-watchmage-is-coming1

You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so people seem to like it. 

SoS Practice Ad 2 

Hyrule Warriors? Pinch Me!

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I don’t have Nintendo, and I have never wanted it more than right now. I just saw a commercial for Hyrule Warriors, and I want to cry. They took one of my favorite games, Dynasty Warriors, and crossed it with The Legend of Zelda. THIS IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO MANKIND!!

excited space cat

Maybe I’m exaggerating (No!) but I really love this idea. The Zelda-verse is so iconic, who wouldn’t want to jump in there and hack ‘n’ slack until their arm falls off?

I love hack ‘n’ slash style games. Right now my addiction is Happy Wars, a team PvP hack ‘n’ slash.

Happy Wars is my crack

Those games remind me of my childhood playing in the arcades. Remember the cacophony of two dozen games going on around you? The jingle of quarters? The sound of older kids trying out new curses? Gauntlet, Space Invaders, Asteroids, Donkey Kong…I could’ve plunked quarters in those games forever.

It occurred to me that a lot of people don’t remember arcades. Real arcades, not Dave and Buster’s or Chuck E Cheese. I bet some of them have never seen a pinball machine. I’m so damn old.

Dynasty Warriors (based on one of the best rpgs, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which is based on the epic novel of the same name) reminds me of the old arcade games. That’s the kind of game that would be at home in some shadowy arcade. Zelda, of course, was one of the great games of my youth. Link was an icon to me and my generation (a friend of mine has the Triforce tattooed over his heart).

I wish I was a child again with a Wii U, clutching the nunchuck like a sword and slashing my way through Ganondorf’s minions. The hardest part of getting old is seeing all the cool toys you missed out on.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

An Elmo-Free Evening in Times Square

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I don’t write much about my own life anymore, mostly because it’s boring. My daily process is: wake up, coffee or exercise, breakfast, videogames for an hour(almost always Happy Wars), write all afternoon (with a short lunch break), dinner, and two hours to myself. It’s like this almost every day, except for days where I have job assignments or D&D. It’s not the most exciting life, but as far as writing goes, it’s productive.

I have a close friend that’s a screenwriter in LA, and one of the original beta readers on Song of Simon. I’ve known him since we were kids, when he was friends with my younger brother. He ended going to SUNY New Paltz with me, and we both became writing majors. He’s a great dude, and I was very happy that he was flying into New York with his boyfriend, who I never met.

Unfortunately he had to run around all over the place while here. Instead, a bunch of us met up in a centralized location. It’s someplace I loathe: Times Square.

If you’re a tourist to NYC, Times Square is a great place to start. If you’ve lived in and around the city all of your life, it’s an Elmo-infested hell. There’s a person in an Elmo costume (or Batman, Spiderman, etc) on every corner, trying to get you to take pics with him for money. It’s obnoxious and pervasive, like a furry, red virus.

Elmo likes ’em young.

But I went at night, and it was more like the Times Square I loved as a young man. Instead of Elmos, there were barkers handing out coupons to strip and comedy clubs. Yes! My New York is tits and laughs. They know what I like.

I also managed to photobomb at least five groups of tourists. I’M FOREVER IN YOUR NYC MEMORIES, SUCKAS!!!

yup

We met up in the Hard Rock Café. I know it’s a tourist trap (and obscenely overpriced) but it was easy for all of us to get to (me from the Port Authority, the others from Penn Station). I gave my friend a huge bear hug, and he marveled at my weight loss (120 pounds so far). I met his boyfriend, who is awesome. He’s a geek that got all of my D&D references (getting just one makes you my bff). We ate overpriced food and talked about all things writing, industry, and geek. I saw the trailer to his self-produced pilot, and it’s so good I want to delete everything I’ve ever written.

Oh, I photobombed a few more people at the Hard Rock. I’m a bastard.

Because the bus ride to and from the city is 2 hours (even though I live 30 minutes away by car), I didn’t get home until almost 2am. That’s so late for me, it fucked up all my Kool-Aid for the next day. It was worth it. Every trip to the city should be as good…and as Elmo free.

Especially after some street meat

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Cards Against Humanity: Great Game or GREATEST GAME?

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I’m about to pimp my favorite card game.

It was a little over a year ago that I discovered Cards Against Humanity. Like a perverted thunderbolt to my heart, it became my favorite game (next to D&D, of course). It’s the most cringe-inducing, douche-chill-chilling, vomit-stifling, questioning-why-you-have-these-friendsing, thinking-of-more-hyphenated-adjectiving, game ever made, and I love it. I am here to profess my love for CAH. Yes, I am a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad, person.

What is Cards Against Humanity?

Basically, take the popular–but tame–game Apples to Apples, and replace all the cards with things that if you said in public would get you slapped, punched, or kicked in the nuts. I’m going to assume that you all know how to play Apples to Apples, the damn thing is everywhere.

CAH offers question cards like “What’s that sound?” “As part of his contract, Prince won’t perform without ________ in his dressing room,” or “And the Academy Award for ______ goes to _____” (a double card). Some of the answer cards are gems like “a windmill full of corpses,” “not caring about the Thrid World,” “a vagina that leads to another dimension,” “MechaHitler,” “being a muthafucking sorcerer,” and “a big black dick.” They also give you blank cards to add your own terrible entries. Some of my add-ins are “Michael J Fox eating a bowl of hot soup,” “Randy Orton’s glistening abs,” and “Robin Williams’ bloated corpse dangling from a ceiling fan.” If you think you wrote a great card, you can submit it to them and it might end up in an expansion.

There’s even an official theme song

The good (evil) people at Cards Against Humanity put out expansions a couple of times a year, so you never get bored of the same cards. There are also many optional rules that you can play with to mix shit up. It also makes an epic drinking game.

There’s a secret 3rd card: “The biggest, blackest, dick”

What If I Don’t Have Friends?

Say you’re like me and nobody likes you. How do you get a game together? Because CAH is under the creative commons license, there’s room for imitation/ripping them off. There’s an online version of the game called Pretend You’re Xyzzy. It’s ok, but I miss the tabletop interaction of the real game. Still, when it’s hard to put a game night together (and it is for me) it’s a fair substitute.

look at how happy he is!

Terrible People Doing Good

I just found this out today, which triggered the urge to write about CAH. Apparently they give a good portion of their profits to charity, which is fricken awesome.

from Wikipedia:

Despite the satirical nature of Cards Against Humanity, the creators have done charity work in affiliation with the game. In December 2012, Cards Against Humanity released a special holiday expansion pack and allowed users to choose their price. The average amount paid was $3.89 (with the majority of contributors paying $5) which resulted in an overall profit of $70,066.27, which the makers donated to the Wikimedia Foundation.[15] The following year, in December 2013, the creators released a “12 Days of Holiday Bullsh-t” promotion where contributors would pay $12 to receive 12 random presents over a span of 12 days. On the tenth day, Cards Against Humanity donated $1 for every person that contributed to this deal, amassing a grand total of $100,249.94 that was donated to several educational projects via DonorsChoose.[16]

Anyway, I’ve been jonesin’ to play, and I’ve got a brand new bunch of handwritten cards. Let’s play.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

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Hey everyone. I want to wish all my fellow tribespeople a happy Rosh Hashanah. Shannah Tovah!

BTW: Shannah Tovah is short for L’Shannah Tovah Tikatevu. The translation is “may you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a good year.” Shannah Tovah just means “for a good year.” I hope I’m getting my Hebrew right (I only know a few words and sentences) or else I’ll look pretty dumb.

Enjoy all the deliciousness.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

My Top Ten Space Cat Memes

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I’m a silly person, and I’m easily amused. Few things amuse me more than memes of cats flying through space. They’re the blacklight posters of the Internet Age. If I was a teen right now, I would have posters of them all over my walls. If I was a teen right now, I’d cover my walls with blacklight posters of cosmic cats and watch them as I smoked oregano that I thought was weed.

I know I’ve said this before, but I mean it this time: THIS is my dumbest post ever.

So get ready to save a bunch of pics to that file you keep for weird shit, here are my ten favorite space cat memes. Two of them aren’t true space cats, but their awesomeness demanded placement here. I hope they all blow your mind.

1) Welcome Cat

Welcome to the Internet, you poor, poor, bastard

2) Super Excited Space Cat

He’s so excited, and he just can’t hide it. He’s about to lose control and he thinks he likes it.

3) Angry Super-Detailed Nyan Cat

Those are rainbows of RAGE!!!

4) Doctor Mew

He’s grumpier on the inside…

5) Laser Cat

How is he shooting two beams with one eye?

6) DJ Pizza Cat…In Space

Droppin da bass in outta space…

7) Can Haz Space Cheezburger?

Cats are weightless in space, so yes, haz cheezburger

8) Drunk in Space Cat

That’s his 3rd bottle

9) Rambo Cat (almost in space) Riding a Fire-Breathing Unicorn

Not exactly in space, but it needs to be seen.

10) And finally…PIZZA CAT TURTLE TACO!!!!

This is everything I could ever want in a meme. HE’S POOPING TACOS!!!

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

The Ten (Fifteen) Book Challenge

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I’ve been tagged by a dozen people to list the 10 books that have stayed with me and had a great influence. I have to expand it to 15, and I’m still not done. I did a list on my Facebook fan page, but I think I’ll do a more detailed one here (because reasons). There are many books that I had to leave out, including the many comic books that have influenced me. Maybe I’ll do another post on those…

(In chronological order)
1. Chicken Soup With Rice–Maurice Sendak
Maurice Sendak was my favorite author as a small child, even more than Doctor Seuss. This is my favorite book from the nutshell collection (A Alligators All Around, Pierre, etc). I almost put The Monster at the End of This Book (which is not Sendak) instead.

In January it’s so nice…

2. The Pushcart War–Jean Merrill
A fantastic book about the little guy standing up against unstoppable forces. This gave me the idea, foolish that it may be, that equality is worth fighting for, even if it’s blowing tacks into a truck’s tires.

Fuck those trucks!

3. The Great Brain Series–John D. Fitzgerald
I love these books so very much. Not only did Fitzgerald create a vivid setting (his own childhood), he painted his family with a deft hand. Someone, he’s able to make a swindler like his brother Tom into a roguish hero. Every child should read these books.

4. The Call of the Wild–Jack London
I read this book in 7th grade. While I enjoyed White Fang more, The Call of the Wild really stuck with me. The setting was fantastic, and seeing the savage world from a domestic (though physically superior) dog’s point of view entranced me. Buck, Sol-leks, Francois and Perrault, they were all incredible characters that I still hold in my heart.

5. The Crystal Shard–R.A.Salvatore
I read this at age 14, just as I was getting back into D&D. It has everything you would want in pulp fantasy: Evil wizards, A demon, a powerful artifact, noble warriors, and the renegade dark elf that would soon have over 30 books about him, Drizzt Do’Urden. Although Wulfgar was the main protagonist in TCS, Drizzt stole the show. After all these years, I’m still a mark for Drizzt and Salvatore’s work.

My dog ate the cover

6. The D&D Players Handbook–Various Authors
My love for D&D is well documented in this blog (and in various interviews). The Players Handbook (2nd edition) was the door. I could also include The Fighter’s Handbook, The DM Guide, and Creative Campaigning (my first exposure to world building and story structure).

7. Catcher in the Rye–JD Salinger
It’s become trendy to disparage Holden Caulfield as some whiny kid with entitlement problems. I say that if you read it this way, you’re completely missing the point. Holden is a deeply scarred boy: devastated by his brother’s death, ostracized by his family, sexually abused by his teachers (you have to pay attention, but it’s there). He’s a walking contradiction, a cynic, an idealist, a person willing to stand up for his beliefs and to bury them under the skin. That makes him as true to a real person as you can get.

8. Animal Farm–George Orwell
A shocking and apt political allegory. What this book did was open my eyes to a common theme in my writing: “all actions have unforeseen repercussions.” It’s the corruption of the pigs that destroys a noble endeavor. We all know that power corrupts, but how many pay attention to the people that suffer from such corruption?

9. Bastard out of Carolina–Dorothy Allison
A dramatic and tragic coming of age story with a vivid backdrop. The South is pretty foreign to me, and Allison paints a striking and disturbing picture. She fearlessly tackles physical and sexual abuse. Despite all of her flaws, she turns her mother into a character you empathize with, all the while reviling her choices.

10. Rule of the Bone–Russell Banks
Another coming of age novel that deals with abuse. Bone is a modern day Huck Finn (another book I should’ve included), running away from home, bouncing from crazy experiences to crazier ones.

sup to you, Bone…

11.The DemonWars Series–R.A.Salvatore
DemonWars (I hate the series title, but it stuck) is more complex than the Drizzt books. They certainly carry more emotional heft. Salvatore builds his own world, filled with rich history and religion. Several storylines echo modern ethical questions. I especially recommend the novel Mortalis, one of the most emotionally charged books in the genre that I’ve ever read.

12. The Harry Potter Series–JK Rowling
A classic example of The Hero’s Journey, good vs evil, and the redemptive power of love. What I love most about this series is that you can see Rowling improve as a writer with every book.

13. The Writer’s Journey–Christopher Vogler
A non-fiction book that spelled out the Hero’s Journey better than Campbell ever could. It offers a lot of practical advice for writers. If you haven’t heard of Vogler, it’s because he’s a Hollywood script consultant. He’s worked on some of the most popular movies in history, especially for Disney.

14. A Song of Ice and Fire–George RR Martin
Dark, complex (I seem to say that a lot on this list), and a complete perversion of the fantasy genre. ASOIAF is a masterpiece, and if it continues at this level, it will be the greatest fantasy series ever written. The HBO version, Game of Thrones, holds up well, but it lacks the complexity of the books. Yes, the books are even more complex than the tv show.

15. American Gods–Neil Gaiman
My all time favorite book. Read this book! Read it!!

I mean it, READ AMERICAN GODS!!

There is nothing about this book that isn’t excellent

And this list is still not complete! I’m not going to include any honorable mentions, because they’re just too many. This list could conceivably go on for another dozen entries. I’ve hardly scratched the surface.

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Only The Jets

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I’d like to thank the New York Jets for showing me new and exciting ways to lose a game. Thus is the life we lead as Jets fans.

So true.

I’ve seen some awful plays: The fake spike, the butt fumble, the 80s, but I’ve never seen a touchdown called back for a time out that wasn’t taken.

I’m not saying that this one play cost the Jets the game. They couldn’t run on the Pack, they couldn’t get a pass rush in the second half, their best receiver pulled a hammy, and one of their best defensive players got ejected. It’s the uniqueness of the play that catches my attention.

The rule is that only the head coach can call a time out from the sidelines. Marty Mornhinweg, the offensive coordinator, called to Rex Ryan, the head coach, to call a time out. The refs interpreted this as a TO, even though Rex never called it.

A fan and team expects a certain number of bad calls in a game. The goal is to overcome them, and that’s what the Jets failed to do. But come on man!

I swear, the Jets are the Cubs of football.

These memes make me sad

How Settlers of Catan Improved My Promotion Skills Part II

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Ok, this is a continuation of an earlier post, where I tried to convince people that gaming is the key to building promotional skills. Interested? Intrigued? In Sheboygan for the weekend (what?)? Check out part 1 before or after you read this (or you laugh at the memes).

What? You thought a cat riding a peanut butter and jelly sammich wouldn’t end up here?

4) Have a strategy and stick with it (unless it obviously isn’t working)

I’ve seen a lot of people play Catan, and they’re just all over the place with it. A little construction here, a little development points there, etc. It doesn’t work. You have to pick one strategy (based on your situation) and go with it. Personally, I like to build settlements and go for the longest road, but do whatever works for you.

When it comes to promotion, people sometimes get overwhelmed by the options. Facebook, Blogs, Twitter, Pintrest, Reddit, Personal Pleas, Free Giveaways, Paying for promotion…so many options. When there’s a buffet in front of you, it’s hard to resist trying a little of everything (believe me, I know my buffets). The problem is that doing a little of everything is like doing nothing. Find one strategy and stick with it until it’s obvious that it doesn’t work. Give it at least 6 months, maybe even a year. Building recognition takes a long time. Be patient.

Don’t beg, engage instead.

5) Don’t Try to Tear Down Others, Just Build Better

Nobody likes the dick that plays The Robber. In Catan, you can use the robber to mess other people up, but it will almost always backfire on you (the only exception is when you use it to keep the leader from pulling too far ahead).

Remember rule #1, if you act like a dick, people remember. They will be wary of you every time you play from now on. People don’t always remember the good things that you do, but they always remember the bad ones (remember the John Pigfucker joke).

It’s hard to be nice all the time. When you put yourself out in public like writers do, people will insult you, shoot you down, and just troll for no better reason than to troll. You have to stay above all of this. There are tons of stories about people or businesses that got into flame wars and it dragged them down. Just don’t get sucked in.

Instead of rolling around in the mud, just build better. Stay your course, be positive and surround yourself with a network of positive people. Maybe it’ll work, maybe not, but it’s better than sinking into the quicksand of dickitude (it’s a word now!)

And get off my lawn…dick!

In Closing

I think that the suggestions I make in this blog and the previous one boils down to this: Don’t be an asshole. This is a pretty good mantra for life. Say it with me now…”Don’t. Be. An. Asshole.”

*drops mic*

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!

Shazam! Shazam! Shazam!…movie

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It’s been a long time coming, but they’re finally going through with the Captain Marvel…I mean…Shazam, movie. I don’t remember the last time I was so excited about a DC movie.

There’ve been rumors running around for a long time about a Captain Marvel (it’s hard for me to call him Shazam. It doesn’t feel right) movie. I’ve been let down before, but when Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), confirmed that he was going to play Black Adam, I knew that my prayers to the Geek Gods had been answered. Those virgin sacrifices upon an altar made of comic books and old issues of Dungeon Magazine worked.

I’m not going to talk about the history of Captain Marvel or anything like that (this link is a great start). I’m going to talk about why I love The Big Red Cheese.

An interesting redesign

Me and Captain Marvel (Not Shazam, godammit!)

One of my oldest memories is waking up early to watch the Shazam! tv show. I didn’t really understand it, but i remember having to watch it every week. I don’t think I was even three years old.

Growing up, my great-uncle Irving used to bring me comic books. Huge packages of random comic books. Mostly he’d bring me Marvel, but sometimes DC. This exposed me to a wide rang of heroes, but I never got one of that weird guy with the white cape and lightning bolt. I used to buy comics at the local Lamstons (a NYC chain similar to Woolworth’s) and they had a small variety of books. I mostly picked up Spidey and Captain America. It wasn’t until I discovered real comic books shops where I saw The Power of Shazam!

Captain Marvel and Superman

Captain Marvel stories are like Superman stories, but goofy and fun. They’re not afraid to be for kids. It’s pure childhood wish fulfillment: an orphan child that becomes a superhero through his own heroism, and then spreads his power to others. He builds a family that he never had. I didn’t realize it until I started writing this article, but I did the same thing with Song of Simon. In Watchmage, you could analyze Nathaniel as the wizard Shazam that gives power to others (Hendricks). It’s proof that the experiences of your past (even things you barely remember) color your writing.

My favorite Captain Marvel appearances come much later, as a member of the JSA and Marvel universe in general. He’s the moral compass that keeps other heroes from sinking too far. He believes in redemption and fair play. He’s as powerful as Superman. I think that he’s more powerful, with the combined might of several gods and the wisdom of Solomon, but they usually have the two fight to a draw (don’t even get me started on the DC Injustice bullshit). The JLA Unlimited episode “Clash” is a good example of the differences between the two (including Marvel wanting to stop fighting around all the bystanders, and Supes not caring.

I especially his interplay with some of the younger women in the JSA, like Stargirl. It shows his duality, a teenage boy in a grown man’s body. At one point the JSA had an intervention to ward off his interest in her. He chose to leave Stargirl and the JSA rather than reveal his secret, as the wisdom of Solomon advised against it. Sometimes wisdom hurts.

I haven’t read any of the new Captain Marvel, but from what I’ve heard, I don’t know if I like it. They made him less of the moral hero and a little bit shady. That takes away from what appeals to me about him. He stands out because he’s unadulterated goodness. He’s the hero that others should aspire to be like, even Superman.

You know why I like Captain Marvel? This:

We’re done here *drops mic*

Like my posts? Follow my website or “Like” my facebook fan page and/or follow me on Twitter. You can also purchase my debut novel, Song of Simon, at any online bookstore or a real one (they both exist). Song of Simon currently has a 4.8/5.0 rating on Amazon, so it’s pretty damn good. If you’re looking for something FREE, you can read my serial (soon to be an expanded series of novels) The Watchmage of Old New York. Though it ended in February, it remains one of the most popular serials on JukePop OF ALL TIME!