I’ve noticed this for a while now, but I never said anything about it: I think my browser is stalking me.
My Browser Is Stalking Me
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Author Archives: C. A. Sanders
Wiggle Wiggle
This is taking over the Internet. I can’t stop watching.
It’s hypnotic, man.
The Things You Forget
I wrote this yesterday, but I wanted to share it because it’s still hurting me. I expect that this will only get worse with time.
January 24th, 2013, 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days ago, my partner Valerie died. There was very little warning. She had just started her PhD in Writing at Binghamton, and I went up to visit her. The change from seeing her several times a week to rarely was getting to me. Our plan was that as soon as my lease was up, I would move there with her.
When I got there, she was seizing on the floor. She died 2 days later. It was a drug interaction between on old medicine and a new birth control.
I was visiting her to propose.
I’ve been an emotional mess all day, and I can’t stop weeping (there’s so more pathetic sound than a grown man crying). I think that today was some important milestone for me and Val, but I can’t remember what it was.
I’m losing my memories of her, one precious moment at a time. I have trouble remembering her voice, her scent, even the little giggle-dance she’d do when she was happy. I can’t remember which tattoo was where. She’s becoming a dream, where you wake up in the morning and only recall wisps and ideas. She was real, but she’s becoming imaginary, and there’s nothing I can do.
The things you remember hurt less than the things you forget.
Note: I think that I remember what that milestone was. Four years ago yesterday was the day that I first told Val that I loved her. I still can’t remember for sure. It doesn’t matter, she’s still fading away.
Writers in the Mountains Conference
On Sunday, I was privileged to be part of the Writers in the Mountains’s “Meet the Authors” conference. Set in a distillery (talk about reinforcing a stereotype) in Arkville, NY, it was one of the most supportive, interesting, and especially fun, writing events that I’ve attended. Thank you so very much to the good people at Writers in the Mountains.
First, let me plug the distillery, because they deserve it. Union Grove Distillery opened only three months ago, and their vodka is fantastic. It’s in an old building that may have been a warehouse, I’m not sure. The setting…hell, the whole area around Arkville, deep in the Catskills, is beautiful. The mixed drinks were pretty damn good too.
(Coffee and booze: it’s what writers crave)
I even sold a few books! Considering my last clusterF at Barnes & Noble, it was a great confidence builder. Since I’m selling the Kindle copy of The Watchmage of Old New York for 99 cents (until 5/31/16) I sold a few of those too.
(I don’t always sell books, but when I do, it’s because I’ma sexy beast)
Did I mention that Watchmage is 99 cents right now? I did? I’m doing it again.
I got to sit between two excellent (and very different) writers. The novelist and musician Robert Burke Warren, and the academic writer Linda Lowen. You can’t see them in the picture, but they’re there.
There were panels on the current state of publishing (both indie and traditionaul) and some beautiful poetry readings from luminaries like Danniel Schoonebeek and Sharon Israel. The keynote speaker was the always funny Rosie Schaap, author of the excellent memoir Drinking With Men, and the “Drink” columnist for The New York Times.
What else can I say. The conference was a very positive experience for me, and after being despondent about my work for the last month or so, I feel revitalized. Thank you to everyone, especially the president of Writers in the Mountains, Simona David.
If you’re an aspiring or established writer, always go to events. The internet is a fine way to network, but nothing beats face-to-face.
Hooray!
This website has gone over 1000 views a month every month since last August, with two months over 2000 and one over 3000. Thank you all for the support. I promise to continue with the geeky goodness, silly memes, and occasional serious topics.
Oh, and more of this guy:
Fly, Flappy, fly!
BTW: The Watchmage of Old New York is 99 cents on Amazon until May 31st (2016). *hypnotizing voice* buyyyyyy myyyy boooookkkkk…buyyyyy myyyy booookkkk. Or not, it’s cool.
Watchmage Now 99 Cents
Because sales are lagging, and because Amazon blocked or deleted a bunch of reviews from review sites, I’m having another 99 cent sale. If you like my writing and have an interest in history or fantasy (both would be optimal) you’ll probably dig this book. It has a 4.8 rating on Amazon right now, so people agree. You can buy it here.
Meanwhile, the sequel is with my beta-readers. So far I’m getting positive feedback for it. I don’t know when it’ll be out. My editor is only available during semester breaks (he’s a professor at NYU), and I want to do another draft based on the beta feedback before I give it to him. I wanted it to be out in November, but I’d rather have it out later than put out an inferior product.
On Sunday I will be at the Writers in the Mountains Book Festival. I’m nervous as hell because they’ll be agents there. I’m not very good with people, and usually embarrass myself. Combined with my anxiety and ocd disorders, this could be…awkward.
That’s all. Carry on.
Farewell Chyna
It’s never good to wake up and hear that one of your favorite wrestlers has passed away. That’s what happened today. Joanie Laurer, better known as Chyna, died last night in California. The medical examiners don’t know the cause yet, so I won’t speculate. All I can really talk about here are my feelings.
Anger Ball
Ever have one of those days when you’re angry at the world and don’t know why? Of course you have. You’re human…unless you’re not, in which case I politely ask that you don’t anal probe me.
Note: I was going to find a funny anal probe meme…never image search “anal probe.” Ever. EVER!!!!
Today is one of those days. I’m just a great big bloated gassy ball of rage…extra gassy…I’m surprised that Katie hasn’t left me. I could literally drive her away with my methane exhaust (she’s actually very tolerant of it. She’s a fucking saint).
I’m an anger ball. I love that term. I picked it up from the movie “Playing By Heart,” a pretty good movie that has one of the finest casts every put together. It fits me perfectly today, because I could bounce off of the walls…get it? Like a ball…an anger ball.
So I should be working hard on writing and/or editing, but instead I’m watching Rurouni Kenshin on Netflix (they added Season 3!) between grinding on Diablo III. Part of me wants to drown my rage in egg rolls (not exactly drowning), but I’ll probably be madder at myself later.
Anger ball. It should be a sport. The national pastime. I just have to come up with some rules…I’ll have to get back to you on this.
Stay thirsty…no, don’t. Get a fucking drink. Get me one too.
Surprise Wisdom From D&D
Every other Saturday is D&D day. I love the campaign I’m in. We’ve been playing together for 20 years, in several different campaigns. The DM is a great storyteller. The PCs are interesting and complex. The plot is phenomenal to the point where I’m jealous.
Something interesting came up in out-of-character conversation:
Cats of D&D
There’s a phenomenon going around that I can’t get enough of. It’s called “Cats of D&D” and it’s…well…you can figure it out. Kittehs, D&D references, and pretty much everything I could hope for. Here are some of my favorites:
This is so fake. No cat is Lawful Good
casandersdotnet 